They can't touch us or what we have
by Deewani
Summary: "I'm never saying goodbye to you", "They can't touch us, or what we have" - what if Kurt was right? What if there really isn't anything in the world what can separate them? Even... death?
1. Prologue

**A/N As always… I want to thank Snakequeen-in-Norway for being my beta.**

**D/C I don't own neither Kurt or Blaine or other characters recognizable from Glee... I don't own "The New York Times" either.**

THE NEW YORK TIMES

Monday 13th May, 2019

_Murder or suicide? Or maybe both?_

**A tragic event took place in an apartment in New York City. The bodies of two young men were found at five o'clock yesterday morning. **

"**_I… I came to visit my boo like every day… I… I always came so early, because I always woke boo for work… And there, there he was, with his fiancé, lying on the bed, dead…"_ testifies Mercedes Jones, who found the bodies. **

**Police are still examining the place of the incident. Untill now, everything indicates murder and suicide, perhaps double suicide. **

"**_It's impossible!"_ says father of one of the deceased _"I know my son well. He'd never commit suicide! And he'd never let his future husband do it with him! It's a fucking murder, and I'll prove it. People were always picking up on my scooter since he was a little kid, just because they were too stupid to see how wonderful and unique he was! I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid! I know that someone took my baby from me! He'd never do that. Not after his mom's death. He'd never, voluntary, leave his daddy alone in this world,"_ cries Mr. Hummel. **

"**_Kurt was a good kid, so was Blaine. They'd never do such a thing. They were engaged for three years, they planned their wedding for fall this year… I'll never believe that they killed each other!"_ adds Mrs. Hudson-Hummel, Mr. Hummel's wife. **

"**_And don't forget, mom, about all this bullshit about Blaine killing Kurt and then killing himself,"_ says Finn Hudson. _"He was madly in love with Kurt since they were seventeen! Even after they broke up for several months in high school and Kurt tried to move on… He was still there, longing, waiting. He wouldn't hurt a fly! He'd sacrifice everything for Kurt! He'd never hurt him!"_**

"**_I knew Blaine since we were in kindergarden. He moved out to Westerville when we were about ten… but then I meet him in high school. And he didn't really have to introduce himself to me, when we met again,"_ says a high school friend of the deceased, wishing to stay anonymous. _"He was the same kid! And he was like that his entire life! Kind, respecting his elders, well-brought-up, wanting to be everyone's 'knight in shining armor', always helping everyone around him… I know what police saw on the place of incident… Mercedes told us every detail, we've seen photos… But it's just impossible that my best friend, Aramis of our three musketeers, killed our D'Artagnan-Kurt!"._ **

"**_I must agree with my best friend,"_ add another friend, who also wishes to stay anonymous. _"I didn't have pleasure to know Blaine when he was a kid… But I'm pretty sure that I really didn't miss that much. Because he was always like a big child, stuffed in prep-school boy's body. He was always so polite, always so charming, so dapper… But when he had a chance to loosen up a little… there he was. Climbing furniture, looking at everyone with these big, puppy dog eyes, almost begging us to play with him. As my friend said… we were three musketeers. And then Kurt came… and I don't even know how it happened, but he almost immediately became part of our group. Long before Blaine finally understood his feelings for Kurt and they started dating"._ **

"**_We didn't have a chance to see the beginning of their relationship,"_ testifies Broadway star Rachel Berry. _"We, me and Mercedes, met with them for coffee and so on… We met them from time to time… And we still saw that! I think that everyone saw it. The way their looked at each other. It was love, pure love! Even if Blaine was, in the beginning, too blind to see that. Even if I was so stupid that I almost messed it all because I felt lonely after breaking up with my boyfriend. It was always there. Pure and unconditional love. And I know that everything fit, that all the evidence fit… but nothing fit if someone actually knew them. They'd never do such thing to each other!". _**

"**_I knew my son."_ Ms. Anderson tells us. "_He was a great kid and I feel horribly bad that I wasn't always there for him. That I let my husband underestimate him, let Blaine feel bad about himself. I wish I had left his father earlier, giving Blaine all love he deserved. I knew him… No, that's a bad world. I still know him, even when he is dead. Even when police are trying to make him look like some horribly jealous, crazy murderer. Blaine was many things… BUT HE NEVER WAS HORRIBLY JEALOUS! He trusted Kurt with his whole heart, and even after Kurt broke up with him in high school… My son wasn't really trying to win him back. At least, not in some crazy way. They were still in contact, even friends, they just weren't a couple, you know? I never saw him mad about the whole thing or really upset when Kurt went on a few dates with other boys. I still remember what he told me when I asked him, why he was not really sad, even if I could clearly see, that he still loved Kurt. You know what he said? He said that Kurt had waited patiently for him so long, and now it was his turn to wait. I'll never forget his delicate smile and his dreamy eyes, when he added that he knew that they'd get back together eventually, because they were just meant for each other. How people can think that someone as charming as my son could do this to his fiancé because he was jealous! And then kill himself, because he was scared of the consequences!". _**

**Tomorrow, after police analyze all evidence, the court will make a decision of closing the case or leaving it open. We will inform you about decision on out homepage, immediately after we receive the news.**

**########################################################################**

"Case is closed," proclaimed the judge. And it was it, falling on everyone's head, making them feel like the world was coming to an end. "What!" "How could you!" "I know that the evidence is the way it is, but…". Everyone tried. Every friend, every member of the family… Nobody listened to them… Nobody really cared.

For the court, it was just another case. Quite an obvious case. They found blood on the bed, floor and also a wall near the bed, they found a suicide letter, they found a gun. What is more—someone clearly opened the door, because police didn't find any sights of burglary or any sights of a fight.

It was a clear case for the judge. So obvious that it was almost painful. Boyfriend finds out about his boyfriend fucking another guy, he is mad. He takes his own gun from drawer, kills his boyfriend, when he is standing near bed. One, clean shoot in the head - boyfriend dies immediately.

They never found this hypothetical other boyfriend… But who really cares? Aren't all fags the same? Only thinking about fucking? Maybe his 'lover boy' found some fuck-buddy in one of their disgusting night clubs and didn't even know his name. But it was clear that it's what happened, because they have a suicide note, right? A suicide note, written by the smaller one… What his name was? Bob, Blake… no, something else… But well, who bothers exactly? Everyone admitted that it was Blaine's handwriting, both of them were killed by the same gun, the same gun which this guy was hiding in a drawer near the bed, and what is more… THE GUN WAS STILL IN HIS HAND WHEN THEY WERE FOUND DEAD!

Seriously, how people could just ignore all of that and say that someone killed him… Their lovely, prep-school boy was a murderer, he is dead now… so a murderer is dead. So what's the problem? Case is closed, simple as that.

###########################################################################

_Dear horrible world,_

_He is a cheater. He cheated on me. He betrayed me. He only thinks about fucking. Stupid little slut. How could he do this to me? We had all these sparkling dreams about raising children together… And now he is fucking someone else? And he even admited it, on the phone, calling me "Joseph"? WHO THE FUCK IS JOSEPH! He deserves to die. But no, I'm not going to jail because of this little bitch. I'll kill myself now and go to hell, where maybe every fag belongs anyway. So… Bye, bye, horrible world. I won't miss you._

_Worthless piece of shit_

_Blaine Anderson_

**A/N 1. About… half of this story were written before season 3 started. So you can say that everything is canon till beginning of season 3 and because I'm still writing this story and season 3 already started – there probably will be also some elements from canon from season 3… **

**2. This story is a complete AU. It's future story and also supernatural (what is supernatural about it I'll tell in another chapter, don't want to spoil if someone want to be surprised…). Basically it's Klaine story… but not entirely ;)**

**3. Yes – I wrote that they broke up for some time when they were in high-school… no – I don't want to see or even think about them braking up in a show… but I needed this small fact to add drama to some chapters.**

**I think that's enough for now :]**


	2. New Beginning?

_Blaine_

_It felt like I was falling… It wasn't even as scary as I would have thought. It was just… dark. But it was slightly comforting darkness. I just felt… nothing. I was there one second… and the next second - I just wasn't. And I didn't have slightest idea how long it would last. How long I'd be here, just standing in darkness, still having my memory and my conscious. I was dead, or at least dying, I knew that for sure._

_And then… I saw it. A light. Very bright light. I felt like someone was pushing me. Pushing me, and pushing, forcing me to go towards the light._

_So, that's it, I thought. Now I will go to heaven… Funny, I never really believed in it. I was more religious than Kurt, I kinda believed in God… but I never was really bothered by thinking about heaven or hell… Well, I was gay, so I was designated to go to hell, no matter what I've done, right? At least that's what people were always telling me. So I never really bothered myself with this whole 'heaven/hell' idea , because it was really scary. I was scared to go to hell, but I was happy that life gave me a chance to be sent to hell, because I'd done something. Something what I never considered being bad. Because it was too good to be bad. Love. My Love. His Love. Our Love. _

_The pushing becomes even harder than seconds ago. Well, so that's it. I see that I'm clearly designated to go to heaven instead of hell. _

_But wait? Can I hear the voices? "_You can do it baby, once more, it is almost here!"_ Yes, I can clearly hear the voices. _

_One more push… Why do I feel like someone is pressing my skull? But… WAIT! I'M DEAD, RIGHT? So please, let someone explain to me… HOW CAN I EVEN HAVE A SKULL? _"It's a head! We can see the head!"_ I've heard them again. Well… it doesn't sound like God, does it? It almost sounds like… _

"Congratulations! It's a boy!"_ I felt some hands grabbing me, covering me with some blanket… I opened my eyes… Wait… WHAT THE HELL?_

* * *

><p><em><span>Kurt<span>_

"_I'm so sorry Blaine," I thought, when I started to sink into the darkness. So, that's how it feels. Dying. That's how my mother felt, when I was eight. That's how Pavarotti felt when he died when I was seventeen._

_I know that it's stupid, but I never really stopped crying because of that little bird. Every year Blaine helped me to organize small memorial for Pavarotti, for just two of us. You know… after every memorial, we were celebrating. I know it sounds bad, but how could I not celebrate? Because when Pavarotti died, Blaine finally saw… ME. Finally fell for me… _

_Blaine… I'm so sorry. How could this happened? It's wrong! It's so wrong! It was never supposed to happen! We were supposed to be always happy. Supposed to always be together, for the rest of our lives… OK… technically speaking, that's what happened. We died nearly in the same moment… But why, WHY did it happen? We were supposed to get married in few months, adopt children, then rise them, then have grandchildren… And die from old age… FROM OLD AGE! We are… well… were 25! FUCKING 25! We just started living for good! There better not be God somewhere out there… OR I'LL KICK HIS ASS, THE SECOND I SEE HIM!_

_Was it really so wrong? Our life, our love, our dreams? WE DID NOTHING WRONG! We were even HELPING OTHER PEOPLE! What have we done to deserve such a fate? _

_But wait! What is it? Can I see a light? YES, I CAN CLEARLY SEE A FUCKING LIGHT! What is it, some kind of joke? The whole life I was damned, because being gay was a sin… I WAS EVEN KILLED, BECAUSE SOME DOUCHEBAGS THOUGHT, THAT IT WAS A SIN! And now I'm suddenly going to heaven?_

"He isn't breathing!"_ wait, what? Did I just hear someone?_

"Come on kid, you were just born, don't die," _I heard again. I was born 25 years ago and killed today, thank you very much._

"We are losing him!"_ I felt some fingers pressing my chest… Wait… I've got a chest? I shouldn't have a body after death, right? _

"Charging… clear!"_ I felt pain… I clearly could feel it. I am dead! So why do I feel pain? _

"Once again… charging… clear!"_ the pain is even harder this time. _

"We've got him!"_ someone is saying. _

_I clearly feel something cold being pressed to my chest; I can feel something strange sticking from my mouth… And I can clearly hear it now. Voices… and sounds… Silent sobbing from somewhere… a rhythmic "bip… bip…bip…bip…" a sound… the sound of air being forced into some tube… Some worlds spoken in language which I heard earlier watching E.R. and other medical dramas… I feel tiny, so tiny, so small… _

_Wait, what had I heard earlier? __"You were just born"…__ Is it even possible?_

_I open my eyes slowly… And there he is… Standing behind doctors in white. There he is… with his comforting smile and his curly hair. He is looking at me with these big, hazel eyes… But there is something strange about him. He is pale… and I can clearly see thought him. And no one else sees him? _

"_Blaine…"__ I think and then I drift to sleep… I'm not dying anymore… I am alive… so much alive… But how is it even possible? _

* * *

><p><em><span>Blaine<span>_

_I knew who I was… I still know who I am. I'm Blaine Anderson. I was born 25 years ago. I died… And I'm born again. I know that's impossible… But it just happened. _

_I clearly see another children lying near me in this place when newborn children lie in hospital… I don't remember name of this place… but it isn't really important, is it? I'm born again._

_I can see my tiny hands and my tiny legs, I can feel myself screaming and crying when I'm hungry or dirty. I don't even think about it, this whole screaming. It just happens. I feel like my body has a life of its own… __"Well, of course it has a life of its own, you forced yourself to it!"__ I think. _

_But still… something is not right… OK, this whole situation is not right, but there is something more… And then I suddenly realize, that something is missing. Like I have huge hole, somewhere in my heart, in my soul… Like part of me isn't here, like it is somewhere else. But where it can be? _

"_Remember I'm never saying goodbye to you?" __Oh…__ "I'll never leave you. Don't cry, begin new life… Please, do it for me… And remember… I'll always be there for you" __**Oh…**__"Even after my death"__… Yeah… I suppose it makes sense now. I died, but not completely. I could never die completely, not with Kurt around. So that's what happened… I died, but part of my soul stayed with Kurt. Part of my soul is still alive in his heart._

_I'm happy, Kurt. I'm happy that I could keep my promise. I hope you're happy too… _

* * *

><p><strong>AN 1. Yes –**** this story about reincarnation, that's the main reason it's supernatural… Yes, I DO believe in reincarnation and I actually have a sh** load of information about it because learning about Buddhism and Hindu religion is one of main parts of my studies. No – I'm not Hindu or Buddhist (I'm in fact atheist, but I love learning about religions and spirituality and all that stuff… but that doesn't mean that I have to really believe in any of it and even if I believe… you can say that I'm making my own religion…). And no – this story is not really about reincarnation in Buddhist or Hindu kind of way… you can say it's about reincarnation in my own kind of way (I'm making all of it really simple, without 'karma' or 'dharma' or other things like that… just simple – you die - you are born again law without any 'if you were good in your past lifes you will eventually have a good life')**

**2. Yes, it's also partially about ghosts… but not entirely [my Blaine (well... my spiritual Blaine which I'll later address as HIM) is not really a ghost… you can say that he is partially ghost? he can't be the whole ghost because he is just a part of someone's soul – not a whole soul]**


	3. The REAL investigation

"I hope that Burt will be all right," says a concerned Rachel.

"Yeah… it looked bad, like, really bad," adds Mercedes.

"I think it was just chest pains, not a real heart attack," says Thad, "although – I'm not an expert".

"Let's get some coffee," suggests Nick.

"Or maybe not coffee… Who wants to get drunk?" it was Jeff this time.

They all were here. All the members of the Warblers, which had had the pleasure to know Blaine. Some of them even had had the pleasure to be in the Warblers when Kurt was attending Dalton. Their best friend, someone whom all of them loved like younger, unruly brother. He and his future husband were dead. His future husband, whom they also loved and accepted like their own. Members of New Directions has also slowly started to arrive for the funeral, which would take place in two days… And after it, the whole case will be definitely closed. Just swiped under the carpet… Or at least that's what court thought…

" Here's for this motherfucker, who practically told us that Blaine was a crazy, bipolar, schizophrenic murderer," screamed Thad two hours later, when they were all drunk, at least a little.

" Here's!" screamed the rest of the group, knocking glasses with each other. They were sitting in Rachel's apartment, every one of them with bottles of wine, vodka and other alcohol standing around them.

"They are dead… they were such a sweet pair of dolphins, and now they are both dead!" cried Brittany, snuggling further into Santana's arm on which she was practically lying.

"I know it's cruel, but it's not really bothering me that much, their death… I mean… it's tragic and it shouldn't have happened and so on. And I miss them, both of them… and I'll probably always miss them…" said Sam. "But, how could they do this? I mean, the whole court? The police? The fucking judge? Were they animals? Viruses? Trees? They were people… FUCKING LIVING, BREATHING PEOPLE! And they just closed this case… without catching their killer. BECAUSE I KNOW, THEY BOTH WERE KILLED!"

"Yeah, we're with you guys" said Rachel, addressing the Warblers. "We know that Blaine didn't kill Kurt."

"That's why we are still anonymous," said David quietly, trying not to giggle. He wanted to giggle the whole time. Because, what was more there left for him?

"Whaat?" asked Jeff, not sure of the meaning of David's words.

"Anonymous with this newspaper thing two days ago. We tried to also be anonymous today in court, that's why we were hiding from the paparazzi. We don't want anyone from the outside world know about us," clarified Wes.

"Whaaat… Wha… bddb…" mumbled Trent under his nose, not able to build the whole sentence.

"We want to investigate on our own. We want to hire a private detective, but we also want to investigate on our own. You know, ask some criminals if they know anything, tell them that we are of them," began David.

"We won't let them do this to Blaine. We won't let the whole world think that he was the killer," finished Wes.

"You know that you can get yourself killed?" asked Mercedes.

"We'll be careful. Besides… it's not something we never did. We always liked to play little spies with Blaine… With Kurt and Blaine to be precise…" added Wes sadly.

"You really loved him…" said Santana, who had been silent till now.

"We still do…" this time Nick spoke. "Both of them… That's why I want to help you, guys".

"No," said both Wes and David flatly "It's too dangerous. You have Jeff. We both know that Jeff wouldn't be able to help us. Don't risk what you both have. Don't forget about your wedding."

"I… I don't think it's gonna happened…" Jeff spoke in silent voice, nearly whisper. He and Nick still hadn't discussed it. But it just… didn't felt right right now…

"Why not?" Flint, who till now was lying on the floor, barely conscious, sobered in a moment. "You think that's what they would want?"

"Yeah, he is right" said Thad "I'm sure they wish that you still get married this year. I mean… they would wish… FUCK!" the tears started filling his eyes. "Sorry guys…" both Wes and David hugged him immediately.

"So…" Santana spoke again, "it's official. You two are still getting married. And I will go all Lima Height Adjacent on your asses if you decide the other way. And I'm serious about it. Also those two morons gonna try find the real killer without getting themselves killed. And I don't want to hear any other moron talking about joining them. Two morons have a chance to survive. Thirty morons? Not really. Everyone understands me?" Everyone, who was able to do it, nodded his or her head. "Good… So it's official… But why do I have so such bad feelings about it..?"

**A/N So… I have ****two things I wanna talk about… First of all – if someone reads it… please, comment. It would really mean A LOT for me because it will show me what is O.K and what should I change. I'm new to ff world and opinion of other people is really important for me.**

**And second… I received massage that it can be confusing with my previous A/N so I hope that I'll UNconfuse it all now ;). I know that I have a tendency to make things even more complicated that they were when I'm trying to explain something… so I really hope that it would be O.K. this time. So…**

**1. Kurt and Blaine BOTH are reincarnated. Blaine is Jeremy now and Kurt is Michael.**

**2. Blaine is reincarnated as a person which have small part of his soul missing… You can say that he have about… 90% of his soul with him? All of it because…**

**3. Part of Blaine's soul disconnected from the whole of Blaine's soul when he was dying and stayed with Kurt. Don't ask me is souls can do that, I know that his did ;). And because of it… **

**4. In my history you have TWO Blaines. One Blaine is this 90% soul Blaine named Jeremy and with new life and new body and second of them is this 10% soul spiritual-Blaine which is Kurt's guardian angel and Kurt will befriend him and call him by name 'HE' [If I remember clearly… in next chapter you will know why he isn't calling him Blaine]**

**5. 'HE' is in some way connected to Kurt's soul but he is not a part of Kurt's soul, because Kurt still have his own 100% soul.**

**So… I hope that everything is clear now ;) If someone have some questions… just ask and I'll do my best to explain :] **


	4. Consciousnes

_Kurt_

_So I am here, having all these thoughts… Should I have all these thoughts? Should I know that this strange thing sticking from my mouth is something that makes me breathe, even if I can't breathe on my own? Should I know that it's called a respirator? Should I know that this thing in which I'm lying right now is called incubator? Should I know that I probably was born too soon, because my lungs are clearly underdeveloped? _

"Is he going to be O.K., doctor?" _I hear the concerned voice of some woman. It probably is my mother. _

"Unfortunately, we don't know that yet. He was born in the 27th week of pregnancy. It's a big thing, even in today's era."_ I hear another voice. It has to by my doctor. "_We are doing everything we can. The only thing which we can really do now is waiting and hoping that he'll survive. This little buddy out there is a real warrior. Let's just hope he'll win this battle.

_If I only could look at him… Please, come near, you have such nice voice… Oh yes, there he is, coming toward me… Damn, he has a nice ass… O.K. I'm sure now, I shouldn't have such thoughts. _

_And, from what I know… I shouldn't see HIM. Funny thing. I know that I know HIM. I know, that I recognized HIM before I went to sleep. I know that I had some memories about HIM… But now? It's just… HE. And nothing more. I don't know why I have such thoughts or why I can see HIM. One thing is clear. I'm strange… a really strange kid. And clearly there HE is, even if I'm sure that no one else can see HIM. _

_It's really comforting. You know… HIM being here with me. I'm not really scared. Probably I should be scared. From what I've heard, when the doctors were talking with my parents or with each other – I can die. I almost died, I'm sure of it. But tell me, how can I be scared? _

_HE is just beautiful. HIS eyes are so loving, so full of life, so warm… HIS lips, the way HE smiles looking at me. If I wasn't an infant, I'd probably be really turned on right now. O.K. I'm strange, really, really strange…_

_I want to touch HIM, to feel HIM, run my fingers through HIS curly hair. But is it even possible? I can barely see HIM, HE is so pale, so sheer… like HE isn't really here, but he still is… _

_Does it even make sense? No… Well… maybe it'll makes sense now – I don't think HE has a body. It's like he was just a ghost… WAIT? Is that what HE is? A ghost? So why am I not scared? _

_###########################################################################_

_Blaine_

_So I'm lying here, still in hospital. I have jaundice. From what I heard I presumed that it's completely normal. I'm a healthy kid. It's a good thing. _

_I think this time I'm lucky. That this time – my parents really wanted me. Not only accepted, like my old parents… _

_No, I can't think about them like that. They are not my parents anymore. They are Blaine's parents. Blaine is dead. I'm someone else now…_

_I can't live my whole life in memories, can I? I'm not Blaine anymore, I must remember this._

_I have new name now, a new identity… Wait? What was my name ? Josh, Jeffrey, Joseph? No… none of the above. But I'm sure it was something with "J" in the beginning. Jeremy… yes, it's Jeremy. Funny… I have a normal name now, yeah! People won't look at me strange this time. Seriously, why were most of the people so surprised, when I introduced myself? I can't forget how many times I heard "wait… Blaine? What kind of name is that? Is it even a name?" Yes, yes it is a name. Yes it is my name. WAS! REMEMBER IT, YOU'RE JEREMY NOW! _

"_Jeremy spoke in class today"… I've always liked this song. Well, let's just hope that I won't end like that Jeremy… considering that Blaine kinda ended that way, it would be really ironic. _

_I shot myself in the head. Funny thing. But I really didn't have a choice, did I? This or that way… I'd be dead. It was me or him… of course it had to be me to die, it had to be him to live. If he was the one who died… I just know that I wouldn't be able to cope. I would have killed myself soon after his death. He is the stronger one, always was. Funny… I was the one who kept telling him "**Courage**" in various situations… even if he was always the courageous one. I know that it'll be hard for him, but he'll cope soon enough._

_I hope that he told everyone what happened. Told them that I had to write this stupid letter with these horrible, horrible words. Told them that it wasn't really suicide, even if technically it was. Told everyone how much I loved them… _

_And I know, what I told him. That I want him to forget about me. To find someone else, marry him, be happy… Of course, I still want him to be happy. I still want him to marry someone else… I just want to be remembered, you know? I want, in the depth of my heart, him to use my name to name some of his future children. It'd be like I was still alive… _

_Well, technically, I am alive. But I'm not STILL alive, I'm alive again. I'm not Blaine, I'm Jeremy… and it has to be this way. I can't come back to his life, it's impossible. I can't come to him and say to him, when my body finally let me to speak, that I'm Blaine. It would be just ridiculous. I'd be around 2, he'd be around 27. I don't want to even imagine it. He'd freak out. Everybody would… _

_I must forget about them… About love of my life, about all my best friends, especially Wevid (oh my god… I still can't forget the day, when I called them like that. Wes was so… mad! But it was still kinda cute. Because he really wasn't mad, at least not after this first time. They always were and always will be gay for each other, even when they have girlfriends. It's just known fact… Wes and David bromance. Wevid bromance…), about my mom who finally learned how to love me… how to really, REALLY love ME, not her expectations for me. I'll really miss them. All of them… Not only Wevid… also Neff… and other Warblers… _

_Oh my god! Neff! They planned to get married soon after our marriage! I hope they still will marry this year! They deserve it, they deserve to be happy. _

_And I will miss New Directions, even if they never really were my family… Well… I think that it's because I was only with them a year. But still… The Warblers always were there for me. All of them. Even the ones who finished Dalton a short time after my transfer there . I could never say such a thing about New Directions… But well, it's not a good time to rake over. _

_And I will miss Hudmels so, so much… Burt, Carole… even Finn, who, funny thing, was really like brother to me._

_Funny… everything is funny to me. I think I'm just bored, you know? Lying here, waiting for whole new life to begin… I wonder if it always will be this way. Me, remembering everything… Will I ever be able to forget? _

_###########################################################################_

_Kurt_

"It's my fault, everything is my fault!" _this woman, my mother, is crying again._ _She is crying the whole time… I just want to do something, anything to make her feel better._

"It's not your fault, honey. It was just accident" _this man, my father, try to comfort her… Again. He is failing, considering that he has the same thought as this woman. But he isn't saying it out loud. I just hear it in his voice. He thinks that it's her fault, my sickness… He just keeps it to himself. He must really love her._

"No, it is my fault!" _argues the woman._ "If I wasn't so stupid, if I had just waited for you, if I wasn't so stubborn… He'd be still here, in my stomach. If I wasn't so stupid to climb that fucking ladder to clean those fucking windows, he wouldn't be born yet. He would be still safe inside me… And now? Look at him, just look at him! He isn't breathing, he is barely moving, they had to reanimate him… JUST AFTER HIS FUCKING BIRTH! What kind of mother am I? Tell me? What kind of mother risks her child's life to clean stupid windows?"

"It was accident sweetheart. It was stupid accident." _This time, man also starts crying. _

"_Do something,"__ I think. But not to myself… to HIM. Because, as creepy as it sounds… HE can hear my thoughts. I'm sure of that. HE is always doing the thing I want HIM to do. I learned a strange thing. I was right. HE doesn't have a body… but still HE can touch me. I can still feel HIS fingers, stroking my hair gently. I could still feel HIM wiping my tears with HIS finger when I was crying because doctor was giving me some injection. _

_That was it. The moment when I learned that HE can touch me, that he can hear what I think. The injection was really painful. I was crying and crying and crying… And begging someone, anyone to make it stop burning like that. And there HE was the next second, comforting me, wiping my tears, making my pain to go away…_

"_Please, they are hurting too. Do something for them, please!"__ I think again. _

_And then I hear it. A clear voice, gentle like velvet… _**"I can't".**__

_I look at HIM… right at HIM. And there HE is, smiling apologetically. _

"_Why not?" __I think again. _

"**Because I just can't."**___HE speaks again. _**"It's just how it works. Only you can feel me, only you can see me… and well – only you can hear me, even if I'm not sure if ****I'd**** I'll be able to speak to you ever again.** **I'll always be there for you; I just can't be there for anyone else. Everything's gonna be all right, you'll see… Everything gonna be all right…"**

"_Am I going to die?" __I think. I don't wanna die, not really… HE only smiles at me, and strokes my hair again. In this moment I get my answer. _

"_You wouldn't let me die. I'm right, that's it, isn't it?".__ HE smile again and nods quickly. And it is all that I need…_

_###########################################################################_

_Blaine_

_So… I guess that's it. World, beware, I'm coming! The doctor examined me today, told my parents that I can go home… So I am. Home, sweet home! I just can't wait. I just can't wait to see my new room, my new toys…_

_I hope there won't be many of them. That Jeremy's parents aren't as rich as Blaine's parents were… It's not that Blaine hadn't liked being rich. He had a great car, he could attend Dalton, he could travel, spend money to buy another instrument and learn how to play it… But he wasn't really happy. At least, he wasn't really happy because of money._

_You can't buy friendship, you can't buy love… And you clearly can't supersede love with money. Too bad Blaine's parents never really learned that lesson, at least when Blaine was a kid. I still can remember how lonely he felt in his own house, in his own room, surrounded by his own toys. _

_No, Jeremy's parents aren't like that – I can see it. The way in which they hold Jeremy, they spend every second of his life, my life, just being there for him. They really, really love me. _

_I'm sure that I wasn't wrong, when I thought that was going to heaven – because, what else it is? I'm healthy, I'm loved… it's a real paradise. _

_But wait! What's that ? A voice… I know this voice… Is it? No… I'm sure it isn't. Why would she? But no! I'm right! I can clearly hear Blaine's mom voice! Mommy! Jeremy's mommy! Please, stop. I want to listen. I want to know why she is here. Oh, that's it. She is sitting now. I can feel that. We are both waiting… She is waiting for my discharge, I'm waiting for Blaine's mother to speak again…_

"How is he?" _she speaks finally. _

"The doctor said that it was close call, but he'll be O.K." _I can hear another voice which I can recognize. Is it Carol? What would she be doing in here? _

_And then I hear another voice. A scream, filled with anger and hate. It sounds so… bad, so different, that I almost recognize the person who was speaking. _"It's all your fault! Yours and your fucking son's fault!" _screamed the voice. _

"Excuse me?" _I hear my mother speaking again. She sounds hurt. What is it about?_

"Finn, please, don't be so harsh. Don't forget that she lost her son too." _Carol speaks again. Wait… did I hear wrong? Please, tell me that I did hear wrong. It can't be true. There wasn't "too" in the end of her sentence. Why would there be? I must have heard something wrong. _

"Why should I be more gentle?" _Finn speaks again. "_Burt almost had another heart attack. Almost had another heart attack in the middle of court".

"I know, but…" _my mother is crying, I could hear that. Why Finn is doing this? Why is he making her cry? I know that Burt is sick again. I know that he is nervous because he loves Burt… as much as I always loved him, seeing my real father in him. But why does my mother deserve to be treated like that?_

"But what? But your son had nothing to do with it? BULLSHIT!" _Finn sounds even more angry than a minute ago. _"We all heard it. All saw the evidence. All heard what the court had said … YOUR SON WAS A FUCKING MURDERER!" _It can't be true… IT CAN'T! Please, tell me that you are not indicating what I think you are indicating. Please, don't say it, please! _

"Finn, mind your words! I won't let you harass Blaine's name like that!" _says Carole in a harsh voice._ "I know what the court said, but you know it's not true! You knew it two days ago; suddenly you changed your mind? BLAINE IS INNOCENT. And we should all be here for not only Blaine, for both of them." _Oh my god… no… oh my god…_ "The evidence proved wrong! There are so many wrong things about this case. Blood splatter patterns don't match, the suicide note sounds like someone else told Blaine to write it… Even the fact that Blaine was BLAINE, doesn't match! The court just wanted to close this case, because they don't want to bother themselves with two 'fags' deaths! We both know there's was no way… and I'm saying it again… THERE'S NO WAY that Blaine would do this! Blaine would never kill Kurt!"

_I was wrong… it's not heaven. It definitely isn't… They killed him too… BUT THEY PROMISED! How could I be so stupid, trusting them like that? They killed Kurt too… _

_KURT is dead… Kurt IS dead… Kurt is DEAD. And now, everyone thinks that I killed him. Everyone thinks that I killed him and then I killed myself…_

_It's not truth… It can't be happening… IT CAN'T! _

_I was wrong the whole time… they were always right. There's no way that fag like me would go to heaven. We are all going to hell… And here I am. In hell. My own, personal hell…I feel pain. So much pain! In my heart, in my head, in my soul… I deserve it. I deserve to suffer…_

_I LET THEM KILL KURT! I LET THEM KILL MY ANGEL!_

_I am screaming, screaming with my whole lungs. I want to die… Please, let me die. I can't stand it anymore. Darkness is coming – I can see it… Let it consume me… Let hell consume me… I'm in hell… _


	5. Evidence part A

**A/N FOR BOTH PARTS OF THIS CHAPTER**

**1) O.K… In this chapter you have quite a lot of Rachel. But here's the thing… I HATE Rachel xD Like really, really hate :P But if you like her… well – I think that you shouldn't be afraid 'cause I think, and my beta agreed with me, that I'm not bashing her character… not really. I just portrayed her as I see her… as egocentric, self-centered b**ch :] So if my Rachel seem for some of you out of canon… well… this Rachel in this story is kinda canon for me, because I really see her this way :P So… if you don't like it… sue me, but I won't change my mind xD Just can't force myself to like her :P**

**2) You also have a lot of Wes and David. Well… considering a fact that every time when you read something with them it is OOC because you hardly had them in Glee… but well – I know that there is some kind of canon for them. And to be honest – it's MY canon too. BUT, not in the chapters AFTER, more in a chapters BEFORE Klaine's death… it's just in my imagination way of how people could cope if someone brutally murdered their best friends. Of course, everyone cope in different way, but if I'm honest… David is kinda me :P. And I know that one thing with them in here can seem REALLY off, but if someone is interested… I PROMISE that one day I'll have the whole chapter, mostly about two of them, their relationship etc. So if you have questions now – you can ask, but I'm pretty sure that after publishing this chapter about which I was talking just a moment ago – there won't be any.**

**3) Yes… I watch too much Dexter/Monk/House and other TV series like that xD I tried to check – as always – everything in internet, but I'm not sure how accurate internet is :P [and if for someone safety house seem too futuristic… well – don't forget it's a future fic xD]**

**I think it's all… if you want to know something more… feel free to ask ;)**

###########################################################################

_**EVIDENCE**_

Rachel Berry was walking on the street. She wasn't sure where she was. Her car had broken down in the middle of nowhere. She knew that she was SOMEWHERE in New York, but she was probably miles from streets which she knew inside out. Of course, she could wait for someone to pick her up, but Rachel Berry never begs for help, she can take care of herself.

The weather was cold that day. It was already November. She couldn't believe that it was already six months since her friend was murdered. She still wasn't sure what to think about this whole case. It was getting weirder and weirder. Weirder, because she has learned that Wevid had actually DISSAPPEARED. Was it some kind of serial killer? Was someone hunting wealthy New Yorkers? Was she on a hit-list too?

Last month she met with the rest of New Directions and the Warblers in Neff's wedding and they told her that NO ONE knew where Wevid was. She remembers them saying that they would catch the killer, but they had apparently failed. She was never good friends with Neff or any other kid from Dalton, but to be honest – she wasn't really goods friends with anyone. She remembered that she had felt lonely in high-school… Those days are over now.

She was SOMEONE now. She was a well-known diva! She just KNEW that her dreams would come true. How could they not ? She was amazing, wonderful, her voice was remarkable, she KNEW since she was a little girl that she would be a star on Broadway… and look at her now! SHE WAS! She was living alone… but who needed love? Who needed people to be close to her, when she could be close with her biggest love? Music and carrier? Broadway was her husband.

She still refused to believe that Kurt Hummel, her main competitor and the closest thing to a friend she ever had had decided that he would settle down with an actual human being. And even more – give up on Broadway completely and choose fashion?

But maybe the rumors were in some way true? Maybe Blaine killed Kurt? As far as she knew Blaine he was a good guy… but he also was a great actor, nearly as good as her. And he could keep up with her vocally, that was something BIG. But still… what if he was jealous of the carrier which Kurt could have had and DEMANDED that he give up on Broadway? What if he finally realized that he couldn't shut a diva like Kurt in a cage and killed him? Anything could happen in the lives of people as theatrical as her, right? And Kurt definitely had a high level of theatricality; it was highly possible that Blaine had it too.

"Crap," said Rachel, noticing that she was completely lost "Excuse me? Can you tell me where am I?" she asked some guy whom was sitting under the tree

"Of course, lady," the man was clearly drunk. He stood up and tried to grab Rachel. The girl managed to run away from him.

"Come on, lady! I will tell you where you are!" she looked over her shoulder and saw the stranger pointing at his crotch "I will show you heaven girl!"

"You wish," smirked Rachel and kept running. She ran till she finally reached amore populated area. "People! I've never been so happy before to see people!"

She looked around. Yes, she still was lost, but she hoped that she would reach town center. She actually saw a bus stop here; that was a huge improvement.

"Food, food, give me some food!" she heard a voice. "Give me some food people!" she turned around and saw a guy sitting on a street. He was wearing rags, was dirty and unshaved. He also had a really long, black, messy hair, covering most of upper part of his face. "Food" he moaned again. She noticed also that most of the people ignore him… but he still seem to look at every person who was walking past him. Like he was searching for someone particular. "I haven't eaten in three days! Food!" he whimpered.

Rachel decided to come closer. This man was clearly hungry and sober. At least he seemed sober to her. Beside – his moaning and whimpering were horrible for her very delicate, sensitive and highly specialized ears. She couldn't risk her perfect hearing and she was sure that she would have to spend some more time in this area … So silencing this beggar was her only goal.

"Food!" he moaned again "Food!" he seemed to notice that someone was approaching him directly because he lifted his head and looked directly at her "Giv…" he stopped suddenly when he saw her clearly. He looked like he was scared. She looked closer…

'_**Wes?'**_

"Oh my god!" she screamed taking another step "Why a…"

She felt a hand on her lips silencing her. Another hand reached for her waist, she felt someone's chest behind her back. Someone was pulling her into the dark alley! People were standing near her, she was sure that they were seeing what was happening! So why was no one trying to save her?

"Help!" she tried to scream, but her screams were suppressed by the hand on her lips. She tried to free herself by kicking her leg backward, but the person who was holding her clearly knew what she wanted to do, because when she was standing on one leg – he kicked her in it causing her to trip. She was hanging now, held by the strong hand resting on her waist.

"I won't hurt you, just stop fighting or I will have to," she heard quiet voice. It sounded familiar… She looked down, trying to see the hands of her kidnapper _'African-American… is it..?... No… IT CAN'T BE!'_

She tried to struggle again, without any result. She opened her mouth and somehow managed do bite her kidnaper in the finger. She heard the quiet scream of her kidnapper.

"That's it… You were begging for it. Sorry," she heard the voice and then felt that hand which till now was holding her lips lifted up.

"He…" she managed to scream, until she felt a strong bat on the back of her head. She lost consciousness…

###########################################################################

"Where am I?" she opened her eyes. She was in some closed chamber. The walls were black and lights on the ceiling were really weak so she was lying in almost complete darkness. She noticed that there were no windows, and that… THAT SHE WAS LYING DOWN! LYING ON BED! "DON'T RAPE ME!" she screamed to silent room.

"Only if you'll be a nice girl," she heard amused voice say from somewhere in the room. But it was too dark in there, she couldn't see anyone.

"WHO ARE YOU?" she screamed

"Sorry that I hit you. I had to take you from there as quickly and as quietly as possible. And you know that silence is something that is quite unusual in your case," she heard again, and this time managed to locate the source of the voice. Someone was sitting near the door… DOOR! If she only managed to run through this door… She would be free!

"Why are you keeping me?" she tried to keep his mind off looking at doors.

"I don't keep you," her kidnapper giggled. "We usually keep our prisoners in here and you are not one… But I thought that you would probably try to run away and I can't let you. Not till you manage to calm down and talk to us."

"Why should I talk to you!" she stood up quietly and started to going toward doors as quietly as possible. "You kidnapped me! And probably raped me!"

"Oh god! You haven't change, have you? You will never change. I HAD TO take you from there because you would have blown up something on on which we have been working for half of a year and we couldn't let you." The voice definitely sounded familiar… but she couldn't believe her hearing right now. She probably had a concussion.

"Come with me." Her kidnapper stood up "I can't turn on the light in here and you probably wouldn't believe anything I told you right now, so come with me to the light and see for yourself what's going on. Besides, what you were doing in there? It's a shit hole. You should be thankful that I 'kidnapped' you because some one else would certainly WOULD HAVE kidnaped you. And this time seriously kidnapped."

Her kidnaper was going away from her, going away from the doors. He was going deeper in the darkness. Did he think that she was so stupid? That she would go with him to the dark when she sees a door in here? And light under it? She waited till she heard footsteps reaching some point far away from the doors.

"If I were you I wouldn't go through that door," she heard the voice say.

She was sure now. He was quite a long distance from the doors. She started to run. He wasn't even trying to run toward her. Why he wasn't running? She reached the door, opened it… WALL! Behind this door was a wall! A wall with small lamp sticking through it. That's why she saw the light under this door! She was trapped! There was no way out! Now he probably will kill her or even worse! Do something what will damage her remarkable voice! She started hitting the wall with open hands and whimper loudly.

"Just grab her for fuck's sake!" She heard another voice coming from the ceiling.

"Kurt would kill me if something will happened to her," said her kidnapper calmly.

"Kurt…? THAT'S YOU, HIS KILLERS! I WILL CALL THE POLICE!" she screamed wildly.

"Grab her or I will go down and silence her for ever! She called me his killer! I would never hurt him!" voice from ceiling was angry this time.

"Calm down, she is just freaked out. She didn't mean that… Come Rachel," said the first voice calmly. "You will feel stupid when we finally see the light."

"You know my name?" she calmed down a little bit.

"Of course I do! You're Rachel Berry!" said the voice with a shadow of hope in it. He sounded like he was glad that she had started to communicate with him.

" Everyone knows that! I'm famous!" she hissed.

"And fucking stubborn. I don't know what he saw in you," called the voice from ceiling, more calm this time.

"But does everyone know that you are Rachel Berry, that in high school you were nearly obsessed with Finn Hudson, who was the step brother of Kurt Hummel? Would everyone know that you have two gay dads and that you were always competing with everyone in your choir room and nearly fought with Mr. Schue if he gave 'your' solo to someone else?" the voice of her kidnapper was calm and friendly.

She slowly stood up and started to go towards him

"Good, that's it."

"Say more about me," she demanded still going slowly.

"You were always fighting with Quinn Fabray because you were both in love with Finn. You broke up with Finn when you headed to Broadway. You went to New York with a group of five people: Wes, David, Mercedes, Kurt and Blaine. You went to Broadway, Mercedes and Kurt went to fashion school, Blaine went to music school, Wes and David started their own company and were mostly partying… Do you need more?" She was sure now, who her kidnapper was . But why?

"David," she called quietly.

"Finally!" screamed the voice from the ceiling. "I thought that you would have to tell her every detail and even the size of her bra and panties."

"We were really drunk, don't remind me," snapped David.

She came near him and saw that he is holding hand toward her. She grabbed it. He silently pulled her closer. She saw him reaching for some point in the wall. He touched it and small window opened, showing a lock behind it. He took a key from his neck, put it in the lock and opened it. The wall suddenly slid down, revealing some very bright light. She closed her eyes, not used to it. David was still pulling her so she took a step towards the light. When she opened her eyes – she saw a small corridor and stairs heading up.

"Ladies first," David told her, releasing her hand. She went toward the stairs and started climbing. "Don't freak out when we head upstairs. It looks like some kind of science fiction movie," giggled David behind her. "And try to be a little bit less annoying. Wes has some small anger and power issues… He always loved to be in charge, now he is a little freaky about it…"

After a few moments of climbing, which felt like for ever, Rachel finally reached top of the stairs. She saw only ceiling above her. _"Is it some kind of joke? No one plays jokes on Rachel Berry!"_

"Reach you're hand up and push it," David told her.

As he said, she did. He was right, it wasn't a ceiling. It was trapdoor. When she pushed up – it opened, revealing a strange blue glow. Intrigued – she took the last steps… And realized immediately what David meant by 'science fiction movie'. She saw group of people, twelve, maybe even more, sitting in front of computers and others strange electronic equipments. Every machine was blipping with a blue light illuminating the mostly dark room. She looked around and realized that there were no windows in this room either. Were they underground ? Where are they ! Wevid or no Wevid, she wanted to run away from this strange place as soon as possible. She took a deep breath and whined by accident. In that moment, when she made noise, every pair of eyes in the room immediately looked at her. Most of them were wearing glasses and were really pale. The blue glow made them look like they were from different planet. And it wasn't the only thing that made them look like aliens; their eyes were unfocused, and unreadable expressions were on their faces.

"It's O.K. guys, go back to work," said David calmly. And as he spoke, they immediately went back to their work, like they never were interrupted. She felt a shiver running through her spine. If she wasn't scared as hell already, she probably would be right now.

"They are humans," giggled David, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Geeks, computer nerds, hackers… Most of them have been closed in here for four months now… They aren't really complaining." He smirked. "They aren't prisoners," he told her seeing her expression. He knew that she was a vegan, humans' lives were probably as valuable for her as animals'. "They just don't want to leave this place… Most of them locked themselves in their separate rooms years ago. We just gathered them in one place." He looked at her again, she looked like she was about to faint. "Come on, let's go to the surface." He pushed her gently. "Three steps to the right, then just go straight till you reach the elevator… And don't be scared, they won't eat you." He giggled again.

"Where are we?" asked Rachel finally, going to the elevator and trying to look everywhere, but not at those strange, pale faces. She felt like she was gonna be sick.

"We hired a private investigation agency," explained her David quietly. "It's all theirs… This whole facility, guards, detectives, nerds… To be honest – we don't do shit. They don't really let us… But don't say it to Wes, he is already pissed off."

"So you just sit here, all this time?" she nearly screamed. Their friends were looking for them like crazy, even asked police to find them… And they are just sitting in one place, hiding from the world? She appreciated drama, but it was a little bit too much.

"No" said David firmly.

"So what you're DOING?" demanded Rachel. She finally reached the elevator. She was glad. As the sooner she finished this whole creepy case with Blaine's creepy friends, the sooner she would be taking a calming bath in her apartment.

"You can say that we are some of them." David took a deep breath, reached toward the special plate which was fixed near the elevators window and put his hand on it. The machine made a strange noise and the elevator doors suddenly opened. "We are plying secret agents among them… but to be honest…" he entered the elevator, Rachel did too. "We are just circus monkeys… They let us go to their operations and observe people and even interrogate some of people they catch… But if something even slightly dangerous happens…"

The elevator reached the floor, but the doors hadn't opened . Rachel realized that the same plate as outside the elevator was inside it. David had to open it.

"To be honest, it's too much." He looked at Rachel. He looked really tired and much older than he actually was. "But Wes really freaked out after Blaine's death. Don't get me wrong, I want to catch their killer too. But when he told me about this agency… You know that we are nearly bankrupt? The good thing is that we can sit in this house for years, because this agency never closes the case until it is definitely closed… And we paid the highest price, which guarantees us that we won't have to pay again. But they told us that chances that they will catch their killer are really low, because probably it was just some drunkard who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And they usually are find killers or spies, someone who actually matters. They are helping us in finding the proof that Blaine DIDN'T kill Kurt, but that's all to be honest. And we are just circus monkeys because as I said – they only let us do things that are not really dangerous. When it IS dangerous – they quite literally don't let us leave the house. But Wes thinks he's the boss. That we will catch their killer and come back to normal life… There is not normal life for us anymore…"

"That's why you disappeared? Why you stopped contacting your friends? Why you weren't even at Neff's wedding? They don't let you?" Rachel looked at him carefully. There was something odd about him. He looked like David… But he wasn't David anymore. His charm had disappeared, his eyes were nearly empty and even when he was smiling – the smile never reached his eyes. It wasn't the always partying David whom she knew. This David had completely given up… on everything.

"No, that was us. At least the wedding. They told us that they could escort us to the wedding. We could also contact them… through agents, but we could still bring our friends here… We just don't want to." He sighed heavily

"But why! You know how freaked out they are? They think that their beloved Wevid is dead!" Rachel screamed

"Wevid is fine… But it's not the Wevid they knew anymore." He reached a hand to the plate and opened doors, cutting her off from saying another word.

"I have a camcorder in the elevator, you know?" she heard Wes's voice from the room outside the elevator.

"I know," David smirked and disappeared into the room. Rachel took a deep breath and did so too. She looked around. It was strange. Like she had suddenly come back to reality from some strange SF movie. She was standing in the salon of a typical American suburb house. She saw big windows and wooden doors; she knew that there was at least one more story above her because she saw the stairs… She also saw various wooden doors to various rooms.

"Are you coming or not?" she heard Wes's voice say from the room on her left, but she was still staying in the same position, not sure if she should move or not. She had already seen David who was looking really bad… She was even less optimistic about Wes. After what she saw on the street…

"I still don't understand why you brought her with us," continued Wes. 

"She was unconscious because of me."

"So what? You still should have left her. Now she knows and probably will tell everyone. You know what a blabbermouth she is."

"I certainly am not!" screamed Rachel, storming angrily to the room. "I am not a bla…" she cut suddenly short when she entered the room and saw Wes and David. They were… cuddling… CUDDLING! David was sitting on the bed, his back leaning to the wall and Wes was lying on bed, between David's legs with his head on David's stomach. David was delicately massaging Wes's forehead and temples.

"Not gay," snapped Wes. She looked at him with wide eyes. He looked… normal. Well… not normal if someone knew him before and saw how different he was now, but he certainly didn't look like a beggar. "Makeup!" he screamed. "I was observing people and waiting for our suspect… You really thought that I was a beggar?"

"I hadn't had a chance to think about it. Someone's hand interrupted my thinking." She looked at David pointedly.

"Fair point." Wes sighed heavily. "David, I'm fine now. But next time – say it to my face." He looked up at his best friend.

"You know that I don't have the courage. Not after you punched me last month," said David calmly.

"I said sorry," Wes took David's hands from his head.

"You broke my nose." David winced.

"Bitchy." Wes smirked and slowly sat up on the bed. "And as for you – Miss Berry… What we should do with you?" he stood up and looked at her… But it felt like he was looking THROUGH her. Through her body and soul, seeing everything… It was scary.

"I won't tell anyone… Just let me go…" she looked at David hopefully.

"You don't want to know what we know already?" asked Wes with a small smile on his lips.

"I…" she hesitated. Fair point – she certainly DID want to know… But if knowing meant…

"They won't lock you up," said Wes like he was reading her thoughts. O.K. Now she was really scared. He was… intimidating. "I can't promise you that they won't observe you, maybe even spy on you… But probably they will either way , because you're here and you know about us… And David already told you too much. You should thank him." He looked behind his arm and looked at his best friend, narrowing his eyes

"You… you know what we were talking about?" asked Rachel in small, scared voice.

"Cameras." He pointed at something behind her and after she turned around she saw a computer standing on the desk. "The whole house has them." She looked at him again, feeling like she was in some kind of freaking Big Brother scenario. "Even the toilets and elevators… And I can see everyone and everything." He smiled with a control-freak smile.

"And that's basically how he lives right now." David suddenly appeared behind her, causing her to jump. She hadn't heard him moving! Was he some kind of freaking ninja or something?

"At least I don't spent the day giving you some freaking herbs and don't spent one half of the day searching the internet for information about how to calm down someone with control and anger issues and the other half staring through the window or at a Klaine photograph. And all of this with completely blank, unfocused and empty eyes." Wes looked at David with a strange expression; something that Rachel couldn't really read was hiding behind all of it.

"You need me," said David calmly. "Besides," he came closer to his friend and put a hand on his waist, "they aren't that bad." He pointed at his eyes.

"Yes, they are." Wes came even closer to David, now their noses were almost touching. "Do you even feel anything anymore?" he looked deeply into David's eyes.

"I felt when you punched me," giggled David.

"Oh! My! God!" screamed Rachel suddenly after examining the distance between them. She was pretty good at reading body language. And if she was right, again… that would mean that… "You're doing each other!"

"That was one incident," said Wes looking at her with irritation.

"Two…" said David really quietly .

"It was one night, so I take it as one. The night after Klaine died…" Wes reached for David's hand and squeezed it.

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" screamed Rachel covering her ears.

"You are the one who asked us… well – who TOLD us that we, and I will quote 'do each other'. So you have no right to be mad at us that we are giving SOME information," snapped Wes.

"You're right," said Rachel quietly, trying to calm him down a little bit. David was right, he could become really mad really quickly, and considering the fact that he even PUNCHED DAVID of all people – she felt that she REALLY didn't want to provoke him into hurting her.

"I'm always right," smirked Wes, he kissed David quickly on the cheek and increased the distance between them, but they were still standing really close. The sides of their bodies were still touching and David's hand was still on Wes's waist like he was keeping him in one place, maybe even in one piece.

Their relationship had always been something odd for Rachel, but she was starting to understand it now. They weren't a couple, but they always were LIKE a couple. dated girls and she knew that they were never exclusive in living with each other even when they were living with each other in one room at Dalton and everywhere since they finished that school. They were always saying that they would live together till one of them found themselves a nice girl and decided to live with her. But it was something more than just fear of living alone. There was affection between them. Very deep, unbreakable affection. They knew that they had always had it and always would. And even after something happened which destroyed both of them – they still had each other.

"So… what DO you know?" asked Rachel finally when she realized that two of them could stand like that the whole day if she didn't take the initiative.

"One thing before we say anything – if you suddenly decide that you want to tell someone WHAT you know or even that you found us – I'm almost certain that they WILL lock you up here," Wes warned her.

"And trust me – you don't want to live with two of us in one home," giggled David, sounding almost hysterical. Giggling… Rachel thought that it was his thing now. She remembers that he giggled almost all the time before the process, during it, after… It wasn't happy giggling… It was nervous, almost insane giggling. He was right; she certainly didn't want to live with THEM.

"How long I must lie that I don't know anything?" asked Rachel.

"About proof – at least until we manage to re-open the case. About us – probably always. It's better like that. And don't argue with us. They deserve better than two madmen . They deserve to remember us the way we were, not the way we are now," said David, and she could hear in the tone of his voice that he was deeply convinced about it.

"You are scared of us, and don't play that you aren't." Wes looked her deeply in the eyes. She shuddered involuntarily. "I have my proof," he smirked "And trust us, we don't want to intimidate our friends like that. You understand it, right?"

"I will try…" she said quietly. "I mean, try to understand, not not to tell, because I won't tell…" Rachel heard herself hesitating. It was unusual for her.

"Good." Wes freed himself from David's embrace and went toward the computer. Rachel looked in surprise at David, who showed her with a head motion that she had to follow Wes. Wes sat behind the computer, opened a folder and wrote a password. When she came closer – he opened some document and with the cursor – showed her that she had to read it.

"What is it?" she asked intrigued. She was nearly sure what it was, she wasn't just sure why it was evidence.

"Death certificate," explained David. "Blaine's... You see anything odd about it?" he asked almost playfully.

Wes sighed and showed her with cursor what she should read carefully. She read it again… **TIME OF DEATH: **_5 am _

"WHAT?" she frowned "Mercedes found them at 5 am! And he was already dead!"

"To be precise… Mercedes found them at 4:59 am. At least at 4:59 am the call was made to the police. The police got there at 5:10 am, they took their bodies to the morgue at 7 am after taking photographs and securing evidence. At 8 am they called their families to inform them about the death of Kurt and Blaine," said Wes mechanically, like he was telling it for the hundredth time in a row.

"Mercedes told us something else," said Rachel, trying to remember exactly what Mercedes had told them. She couldn't remember precisely what was odd about her statement, but something was wrong.

"Mercedes is lying…" said David softly "At least partially – because she told the court the truth, she is just embarrassed to tell all of you what really happened."

"What?" she nearly screamed.

"She had a panic attack," clarified Wes. "She doesn't know what really happened, because they found her sitting in Klaine's kitchen. She was sitting on the floor, shuddering and gasping for air. She was a total mess and the police called an ambulance for her. So her part in the whole story ends in the moment when she made the call. After that – she was in too much shock to remember anything."

"Oh…" was all that Rachel could say in this situation. She knew she HAD TO speak with Mercedes and she had to do it SERIOUSLY.

"But this is still in documents. That an ambulance was called at 5:20 am and that it took a young African-American woman to the hospital to give her some medications to calm her down," continued David.

"What is NOT in the documents is fact that a second ambulance was called at 6 am and took to the hospital a young man with a head injury and gorgeous hazel eyes." Wes smiled a little.

"You mean that Blaine was still alive?" Rachel opened her mouth in shock.

"Technically – yes. He died in the hospital. At 5:58 am he blinked and gasped for air. Which means that they were with him in ONE ROOM for almost A HOUR, taking photos of him and even moving him slightly… and they HADN'T NOTICED that he was STILL BREATHING." Wes was breathing heavily. Rachel could tell that he was really pissed. She understood why…

"That's one of the reasons why it's not in the official documents – because the police messed up. Because they ignored small things showing that his heart was still beating, like for example the fact that he was still warm. At least – too warm for a dead body," David continued for him , putting hand on the shoulder of his best friend.

"Second thing – the doctors at the emergency room did something illegal. I'm thankful that they did it, but it's still illegal. So when the police found out about it – they forced the doctors and paramedics to keep a secret and lie that Blaine was already dead when they came to the place of incident," said Wes.

"What did they do ?" asked Rachel, intrigued. She felt bad for it; she knew that she shouldn't be so intrigued by this whole case… But it was getting more and more interesting with every second.

"Blaine's brain was dead," David told her. "His body was still working, his brain – no. He had brain stem death. Every test which they did showed it. They should have done everything to keep him alive as long as possible, contacted his family and taken organs for transplantation if his family wished it or the patient had filed an organ donor declaration… Which Blaine had filed, to be precise, but they found it after they took him to the morgue and it was too late already… They should even have observed him for a few days till they could clearly say that his brain steam was dead… Apparently a big hole in his head and parts of the brain on the wall is not enough… But they didn't try to keep him alive. At 7 am he had serious breathing problems… and they just stood there, watching him dying, waiting till he finally stop breathing and his heart stop beating. He died at 7:15 am."

"They euthanized him?" said Rachel angrily.

"You can say that… Technically – they refused to give him needed medical attention and saved him from the life of vegetable, kept alive because of respirator..." clarified Wes. "But it's still illegal. They just can't make this decision without his family's will. The only case in which they could have done that was if Blaine had DNR… Which means – do not resuscitate. A special declaration which is usually filed by people who are terminally ill. A declaration which Blaine certainly hadn't filed."

"O.K… I mean – I understand that this whole case is even more fucked up than I though it was… But I still don't understand how it is evidence that Blaine didn't kill Kurt." Rachel shook her head a little.

"It isn't certain evidence… But it shows that Blaine could have gotten shot at any possible hour that night. They know at which hour Kurt died… And with Blaine – because he died in the hospital but his brain wasn't working for hours already – it could be any hour. And we are really close to finding proof that Blaine actually got shot BEFORE Kurt," finished David.

"Oh god," Rachel gasped, putting a hand to her lips. "It's huge," she said finally after moment of complete silence "Like – really huge."

"Yes, it is." Wes smiled a little. "You can't kill somebody when you are already dead… Well, at least no unless you are a zombie or a vampire," he smirked.

"Wait…" Rachel interrupted him, trying to sort in her head everything that she had heard already. "You said you are glad that they let him die… Why?"

"Because it's something that he would really have wanted." Wes took a deep breath. "He wanted someone to pull the plug immediately if a situation like that happened. And I don't know if I would have had the strength to do it."

"You mean he was actually thinking about a situation like that?" asked a surprised Rachel.

"You can say that," said David. "And telling the truth - Kurt was to. He never told you about the day when he met Blaine's aunt Molly, am I right?" Rachel nodded in agreement.

"To be honest… I think that this one day really changed the way in which Kurt looked at the world, at life… at us – kids from Dalton… You know, that after this day he told me that he actually thought that our life was super happy? That every kid from Dalton had a wonderful life just because we had a lot of money?" Wes smirked.

"Yeah… it sounds kinda like the old Kurt… I mean, Kurt before he entered Dalton… I must say that he grew up at your school," said Rachel. "Of course, Dalton never had anyone as fabulous and talented as me." Wes fought the urge to roll his eyes. "And the fact that he came back to us shows the superiority of New Directions…" David opened his mouth to say something, but after seeing the look which Wes was sending him – he decided that he would let it pass. "But your school also did something good for him. He changed… in a good way."

"Yes… he did…" said David. "I still remember conversations which we had after that day and what he told me…"


	6. Evidence part B

_Kurt was looking through a large window in his one person room in Dalton. He wasn't rooming with anyone, because he had transferred in the middle of a semester. To be honest – he was glad. Having been the only child for most of his life – he had never gotten used to sharing anything. Kurt had been at Dalton for two months now… but he still felt strange. It wasn't that Dalton was bad… It was just… different. Different in a way he was nearly sure that he would never really get used to. It wasn't his world. His world was all about being himself and being noticed and being different… and here? At Dalton everything was about 'blending in'. And for him 'blending in' was never an option. Yes, he came to Dalton by himself, no one forced him. And don't get him wrong… he LOVED Dalton. Loved that complete strangers offered him help with things and the fact that everyone seemed to like him… But it wasn't his world. It was a world for rich kids raised in rich families. He wasn't one of them. Half orphan, son of a mechanic – he was far from the perfect families which kids in Dalton were from… because these kids just had to be from perfect families, right? With money and power… what could possibly go wrong? _

"_Have you seen Blaine?" He looked behind and saw familiar figure. **"Wes"** he though. Oh yes, there was something else at Dalton that he loved more than Dalton itself. Something that he was sure he would always have. Of course, he still missed New Directions, they were his 'family'. If it wasn't for them – he wasn't sure if he would be still alive. They protected him in some twisted way which sometimes ended up backfiring, but still he could count on them… In most situations… But he remembered how long it took to make them a family, how they were enemies for many, many months… And with the Warblers? They accepted him immediately. Kurt told himself that it was because they loved Blaine and he and Blaine were practically inseparable… But in the deapths of his heart he just KNEW that they liked him because they liked HIM. Not him because of Blaine – but HIM. _

"_No… Not since yesterday to be honest" said Kurt "Is there something wrong?" he asked after seeing the expression on Wes's face. He looked… concerned._

"_It's unusual for him." Wes looked at his wristwatch "He was supposed to meet us fifteen minutes ago."_

"_It's only fifteen minutes." Kurt laughed and came closer to him "I know that at Dalton everyone seems to be tied to their watches and before I wore it – I thought that maybe this blazer turned you into some kind of time obsessed robots… But now I know the truth, you are just bunch of freaks." He blinked at Wes friendlily. Kurt noticed that Wes just looked at him with blank eyes. He didn't frown, didn't threatened to use his gavel… Just stared. **"It's bad"** thought Kurt. **"Like – really bad"**_

"_I guess he didn't tell you…" Wes sighed heavily "Today it's his aunt's birthday. We are going to visit her." _

"_Oh…" Kurt fought the urge to feel hurt. Blaine had known him a few months, Wevid had been his best friends for over a year now… and from what Blaine said once – Kurt was nearly sure that Blaine and Wes had grown up together. He shouldn't feel hurt, he knew that… He just wanted to be a huge part of Blaine's life. He had never met anyone like Blaine; he needed him._

"_It's really personal." Wes smiled at him reassuringly and put a hand on his shoulder. "And huuuuge history is attached to it. So don't feel bad because he didn't tell you. You are still our D'Artagnan." _

"_I am?" Kurt opened his eyes wide. Yes, he was… they had told him one day that he was one of them, one of THE GREAT DALTON TRIO, now THE GREAT DALTON QUARTET, but he never thought that they treated this thing that serious. He thought that it was just some kind of a joke to make him feel better. Apparently…_

"_Yes, you are." Wes smiled friendlily "And we take this darn thing really seriously. You are our brother, our comrade." He punched Kurt lightly in the shoulder._

"_Thanks…" Kurt smiled, but he fought the urge to cry. He was really touched. Touched because they barely knew him, yet they decided that he was one of them. Yes, Kurt knew what he REALLY loved at Dalton… Wes, David… and Blaine. Two of them maybe seemed to have sticks stuck up in their asses and the third seemed to be some kind of always composed robot, but if someone got to know them, if someone SAW them, not only the fact that two of them were on the council and the third was their main soloist – he would fall in love with them almost immediately._

"_It's O.K. Snuggle time?" he laughed._

"_Snuggle time," giggled Kurt and hugged Wes._

"_I want to snuggle too," Kurt heard a voice say behind him. _

"_There you are!" Wes loosened up his hug and turned to Blaine "I was worried. You are never late…"_

"_I was thinking…" Blaine sighed heavily. Kurt looked at him. He looked really bad. Red-rimmed eyes with purple bags under them and pale skin… He was fine day the before, and now…_

"_About what I told you?" asked Wes. Blaine nodded "We will wait in our room. Come for us when you are ready". He came past Kurt, came to Blaine and hugged him quickly and then left the room, closing the door behind him._

"_What was that about?" asked Kurt. He came closer to Blaine. He really looked like he needed to snuggle._

"_He…" Blaine sighed and came to the bed, sitting there and patting place near him with his hand "Come – sit" Kurt followed his orders and looked at him with anticipation "He thinks I should talk to you… And he is right. I'm telling you that you are my best friend but till now – only you are talking. I know about your mom and dad and everyone who is important to you… But you really don't know a darn thing about me. So I want… will you listen to me?" Blaine looked at him with hope in his eyes._

"_Of course I will." Kurt smiled at him reassuringly. "Maybe I will see something past the composed robot." He punched Blaine in the arm in a friendly gesture._

"_Yeah…" Blaine smirked. "I don't like to show this weak part of me and usually I manage to suppress it or even forget about it… But today is just very… painful day for me."_

"_Hey, it's O.K. to be sad sometimes." Kurt took Blaine's hand into his and squeezed it lightly. "And showing it doesn't make you weak… it makes you human."_

"_Every year on this particular day… I remember how important my aunt is to me, how she always was…" continued Blaine like he was never interrupted. "The thing is that my auntie… No… I will tell you from the beginning, O.K?" Kurt nodded. _

"_Good. It can be a lot, you're still O.K. with it?" Kurt nodded again._

"_Good… So… I am really rich, as you probably assumed… But the truth is – I'm one of the richest kids at Dalton. Well… my parents are."_

"_I… I would never think it… I mean, you don't seem to…"_

"_It's O.K." Blaine smiled lightly. "I don't really care about our wealth… I hate it to be honest." He looked down at their linked hands, refusing to look Kurt in the eye._

"_You want me to just listen?" asked Kurt quietly._

"_Yes… If it's O.K."_

"_If it's simpler for you this way… I am here to listen." He squeezed Blaine's hand. _

"_My father is from a really wealthy family and he is also a really well known lawyer so his wealth is increasing with every year… My mom… Well – my mom is a simple woman from a small town. At least – she was. My father was told to marry some wealthy girl, but he was in his rebellion phase and decided that he would marry some stupid, poor girl and she would be quiet and let him do everything and just sit at home. It turned out that my mother was not that stupid as my father thought. She was playing stupid just to marry him. They really don't love each other, but they both love money. Yes, my mother is quiet most of the time and lets my father do everything that he wants… even sleep with prostitutes under our roof." He shrugged visibly "But she also loves to be wealthy. She spends most of the time traveling or going to the spa or shopping…My father is almost always at work… And me? They… they never wanted me." Kurt gasped "They even told me that I was a mistake. I was their wedding night mistake… Condom cracked… and here I am."_

_Kurt fought the urge to say something. How could anyone say such things to their child? That he is just a mistake? That he is alive because a condom cracked? Were they even human?_

" _After their wedding night – they never slept together. They didn't want to repeat their mistake… But you know, the accident happened, my mother was pregnant… and I was born. You know that for few years I thought that my nannies were my parents? They never took care of me when I was a baby . I'm pretty sure that I saw them for the first time when I was five. And even after that – my toys were my 'parents'. They were always buying me everything what I wanted… or at least giving the nannies money to buy it for me. I was really… lonely. My nannies were always teaching me how I was supposed to behave and I even had a teacher to teach me good manners, so you can say that I'm well-brought-up , but not because of my parents. When I was older, about seven – my nannies stopped coming to look after me. And I was left alone in a big house with our household. Most of my childhood I spent in my house. My parents told the nannies that they didn't want me to play with other children… so I always played alone. Till I went to kindergarten when I was five and met Wes, who is also from a really wealthy family so my parents weren't really mad about this friendship, but that's a different story. I lost even him when I was ten and we moved to Westerville. I was a quiet kid, really suppressed and really… depressed, but I didn't know back then what depression mean. But one day – it just attacked me. Kids were mocking at me in school because I was always the smallest and the thinnest kid and I wasn't really good in interacting with other people. My parents sent me to public school, hoping that no one would know whose kid I was," he smirked. "I was twelve when I started to have this these thoughts that I was not important, that I shouldn't even live… I almost stopped eating and sleeping. One day I got sick because of it. I was rushed to the E.R. unconscious, barely alive. My household found me three hours after I lost consciousness, lying on the floor in a bathroom. It was a really close call." Blaine sighed heavily "I'm probably freaking you out."_

"_No…" said Kurt quietly, putting his hand under Blaine's chin and forcing him to look at him. Blaine looked him in the eye. Both their eyes were wet with tears. "I'm sorry, that's all." He squeezed Blaine's hand. "I'm sorry because I was always so blind that I thought that your life was a dream, except the bullying thing of course."_

"_Money can't buy you love and happiness…" Blaine swallowed hard, trying to put down his head again._

"_I know it now, and I'm really sorry. Will you forgive me?" asked Kurt hopefully. _

"_Of course" Blaine smiled a little and hugged Kurt. "Of course I forgive you." He was still hugging him. "You are my D'Artagnan, never forget it… I know that you may think that it's not true, because we've know you a really short period of time… But Wes, David, and I… we love you… as a brother." _

"_Yeah… I love you too… as a brother," added Kurt quickly, trying to suppress thought that he started to love Blaine definitely not in a brotherly way… "You are still hugging me," added Kurt after a moment._

"_Sorry" giggled Blaine, still not loosening his grip. "I really like to snuggle. My parents never hugged or touched me. Now when people want to touch or hug me… I can't get enough."_

"_It's OK." Kurt patted him on the back. "I don't have a problem with you touching me… You're just suffocating me."_

"_Sorry," giggled Blaine uncomfortably, loosening his grip a little bit. "Can I stay like this for a moment? I need it."_

"_O.K." Kurt patted him again. "I can breathe again, so you can… I just want to ask you one question before you continue your story… Can I?"_

"_Yeah…" said Blaine after a moment of hesitation. "But I think that I know what you want to ask me… If I'm still depressed."_

"_Yes…"_

"_No, I'm not. I'm fine now. I'm sad sometimes, but everybody is. Dalton cured me. Wevid and other Warblers saved me. I still have issues with suppressing my feelings and acting around people and have a 'knight in shining amour' complex." They both giggled. "But I'm O.K."_

"_I'm happy to hear it," said Kurt, starting to rub comforting circles on Blaine's back with his hand. "I'm really happy… You're a wonderful guy, you know that ?"_

"_Yeah, I know," laughed Blaine. "But can I tell you the rest? Because I really want to tell it and still have time to visit my auntie."_

"_Of course. I'm listening, just talk… And you can still snuggle you if you want," he added with smile._

"_I want," smiled Blaine. "I finished when I had to be taken to hospital, right?" Kurt murmured in agreement. "I was really sick, but I don't want to tell you any medical details… What is important is the fact that my auntie Molly was nurse in the E.R. She recognized me, even though she had never seen me before … Because she never saw me. No one from the family saw me. My parents lied to their families that I had a sickness which made me a prisoner in my own house because sunlight could kill me. If someone still wanted to see me – they lied that I also had problems with my immune system and exposure to germs could kill me, so I couldn't meet with a lot of people… And that's how I lived, an embarrassing secret. But my aunt, my father's little sister, recognized me, because I look really similar to my father when he was a kid… Well – except my Asian features, but they're not really noticeable."_

"_Wait, what?" Kurt pushed him a little and looked at his face carefully. "You're an ASIAN?"_

"_Half," laughed Blaine, used to people being surprised "My mother is Filipino, so I'm a half Asian. If you look carefully you can see the shape of eyes or skin tone… But I know that I don't look really 'Asian.'" _

"_I thought that maybe you had some Italian in you, I would never have thought about Asian." Kurt put a finger on Blaine's face, near his eyes. "But I must say that you're right," his finger carefully traced the shape of Blaine's eye, "there is something slightly Asian in your eye shape". His finger suddenly stopped, he looked deep into Blaine's eyes "I'M SORRY!" he screamed taking his hands off Blaine. "I don't know what happened to me… O.K. I know, you know that you're extremely good looking, right?" he felt that he was blushing and turned towards the window, trying to hide his embarrassment. _

"_It's O.K." Blaine squeezed his hand. "I hear that a lot that I'm good looking… You don't have to be embarrassed… To be honest… I think that you're really good looking too." _

_Kurt faced him and saw his delicate smile. He wasn't lying, Kurt could tell that. Blaine really thought that he was good looking, even when Kurt didn't see anything even slightly attractive in himself._

"_So I think that Wes is our ugly duckling joked Kurt "Because David is extremely good looking too."_

"_Yes, he is" smiled Blaine "And Wes is not so bad, he is quite good looking too… When he has a different haircut. This one makes him look ugly"_

"_I believe you," smirked Kurt._

"_But yes, as I said – I'm a half Asian… and I know that I don't really look like an Asian." Blaine sighed heavily. "But can I continue?"_

"_Yes… sorry for the distraction." Kurt smiled shyly._

"_It's O.K. You're forgiven." Blaine squeezed his hand "As I said, my aunt recognized me. But she didn't tell me who she was . Not immediately. She just visited me in the hospital… Well – to be honest – she sat with me all the time, watching me, trying to persuade me to talk, sitting with me when they called psychiatrist and taking instructions from him how to take care of me…My parents showed at the hospital after a week, so she had a plenty of time to just get to know me. And to tell me who she was and explain to me why I didn't know her. My parents weren't really happy when they saw her in my room, they tried to think quickly about a new lie… But she told them that only if they let her visit me everyday and let me sometimes to stay with her for a few days – she wouldn't tell anyone about their years of lying and neglecting. So my parents agreed to her terms and she quickly became for me someone worth much more than my own parents. She was my friend, my parent, my everyone and everything. She went with me to the psychiatrist and when the doctor decided that I should have meds – she bought them for me . When I get got a little bit better when I was thirteen – I started to go with my parents to some business meetings and even family parties… I just refused to stay at home anymore, refused to be a secret… And my aunt supported me. She was always supporting me… My parents, at one of these meetings, thought about a new plan to be even more wealthy – arrange my wedding with the daughter of some wealthy businessman. Every of these girls was looking at me with lust in their eyes; my parents thought about so many potential matches! I had known who I was since I was eleven. Understood it clearly when I was twelve. And after one of these meetings, after hearing about another beautiful, wonderful girl – I told my parents that I'm gay. They started laughing. They weren't even angry at me. They just thought that was stubborn. Till today they haven't accepted it."_

"_I'm sorry…" _

"_It's O.K. I really got used to it. It is painful just sometimes, not everyday. I can even tell them that I'm gay and tell them about guys even gay sex… They always just laugh. But now they have a different argument about me not really being gay – especially my dad. That maybe I'm not stubborn, that maybe I'm gay, but it's not permanent. That it's just a phrase." Blaine clenched his fist angrily. "So my father is trying to 'bond' with me. He thinks that I think that I'm gay because I was looked after only by women when I was kid. And he takes me to all these 'manly' exercises and he still tells me about girls and tires to persuade me to go on dates with some of them and has all these arguments like 'you just need a good girl fuck'. He even sent a prostitute to my room once. He thought that I should lose my virginity with her."_

"_WHAT?" screamed Kurt, standing up angrily. "Is he out of his freaking mind? He wants his GAY son to lose his virginity with a FEMALE and even a PROSTITUTE? WHAT THE FUCK?"_

"_It's O.K." Blaine laughed, seeing Kurt's reaction. "Don't get so angry. I'm not angry anymore… well, most of the time. You can really get used to it… Beside – I don't see them a lot. Now that I room in Dalton… I see them only on holidays, sometimes I even spend holidays alone so it's really not that bad."_

"_Wait." Kurt looked at him, surprised. "You spend holidays alone? What about your aunt? Did she refuse to see you when you told her that you're gay?"_

"_No…" Blaine sighed heavily "Just listen to me and in a moment I'll reach the point why I don't spend holidays with her. O.K?" _

"_O.K." Kurt sat near him and put his hand on Blaine's knee, almost sure that the next part of the story was the most painful one._

"_After I came out – my aunt was wonderful. I'm almost sure that I can compare her to your dad. She told me that she had known since the day she met me. After every argument with my parents I drove to her just to cry on her shoulder and scream from frustration, 'Why my parents can't accept and understand who I am?' She was always telling me things like I can't change who I am and shouldn't even try. That it's their job. And to her being gay was just wonderful. But there was also something really bad that came from the fact that I came out…"_

"_Bullying," said Kurt quietly. _

"_Bullying," agreed Blaine. "I was never heavily bullied… but for a kid with depression all these screams of 'fag', 'queer' and 'cock-sucker' were like I was being stabbed with a knife every single time. But I refused to be a victim, refused to run away… Till one day I had to run. They bullied me in a very physical way… I don't want to talk about it right now… But after this incident – my aunt discovered that I was bullied. Because I was always lying to her that in my house it was still a crappy situation but school was good… I wanted to be strong, you know? Fight for myself like I was never fighting. Show the world that I'm NOT an embarrassing secret and NOTHING about me should be that . But after this incident… I just couldn't take it anymore. And my aunt couldn't take it either . She found Dalton, she paid my tuition a year and a half ago… And I came here. Simple as that…"_

"_And your parents? They didn't have any objections?"_

"_They didn't have a right to say anything. And even now they don't have a right to say anything. My aunt paid in advance for two years… And my father will pay this time for another year. At least that's what I heard him promising her…" Blaine said sadly. He wasn't sure if his dad would pay for another year. He hoped so. Dalton was his only safe place…_

"_I'm sure everything will be all right." Kurt smiled at Blaine reassuringly. _

"_I hope so…" said Blaine sadly, "because I can't depend on my aunt anymore. She can't pay for me for another year…"_

"_She lost her job or something?" asked Kurt with hope in his voice. He hoped that it was something as trivial, in some ways of course, as loosing a job… But after reading the look on Blaine's face, the dark shadow which he could clearly see in his eyes – he just knew that it was something much, much worst._

" _Worse…" said Blaine sadly, feeling that his eyes are filling with tears again. "One day, three months after I transferred to Dalton… I think that's the only reason that I'm still…" he took a deep breath "I mean Dalton and my friends they…" Kurt squeezed his knee like he wanted to send an 'I'm here' signal. "She was driving to visit me. And you shouldn't worry because I know that it's not my…" he closed his eyes and felt a tear sliding down his cheek "But her tire get busted… She lost control… Her car…" he swallowed loudly. "Her car tumbled over a few times and stopped on a big tree…"_

_Kurt, after listening these words, hugged his friend tightly. His own tears started to fall quickly, he had to fight with himself because he wanted to sob, he really wanted to sob. But he couldn't. He had to be there for his friend. It was his time. His time to be in despair, his time to sob and wine. He couldn't steal this time from him._

"_Her brain is damaged," said Blaine quietly after a moment of sobbing. "She is dead, the doctors clearly said it. Her brain is dead." Kurt made reassuring circles on his back. "Her body is still alive, but just because she is connected to a machine. Without it – she is dead completely. My dad… My dad refused to 'pull the plug'. He feels guilty. He still believes that one day she will wake up, that she is 'just' in coma. But I know that she is dead. I visit her in the hospital every year when it's her birthday… But visiting her I always feel like I'm visiting her grave. And I just KNOW that it's not my aunt anymore. That she is tortured, that my dad refused to let her go, forced her spirit to stay in a dead body… HE is TORTURING my AUNTIE, my auntie who was everything to me, who made me the person I am right now. And she doesn't deserve it. That's why I visit her only once a year. Every time I see her – I must fight the urge to 'pull the plug' myself. But I can't do it. It would be considered murder. He is the only person that can do it legally, because my grandparents have been dead for years now and she never had a husband. I just want to free her, is that too much to ask?"_

_###########################################################################_

"That day he came with us to the hospital to visit her," continued David. "And since that day – he went with the three of us every year."

"We still continue this tradition," added Wes.

"So Blaine's aunt is still…" Rachel looked at them with tears in her eyes

"Yes…" said David quietly. "She is still lying in the hospital, connected to this freaking machine… Almost eleven years now. Doctors say that she can 'live' another ten because her body is young and strong… She was as old as we are now when she had the accident. But there is no hope for her, she will never wake up."

"But I'm still not sure what you meant by telling me that you would have to 'pull the plug' for Blaine. Why you?" Rachel addressed Wes.

"After we came back from hospital," Wes sighed deeply, "we had a long and really depressing conversation. We talked almost the whole night. There were tears and even screams… It was really bad."

"Discussion about life and death," continued David. "We were talking about death of our loved ones… and our future deaths, about car accidents… just about everything connected to dying or ending up in the situation in which Blain's aunt ended up."

"So at the end of this conversation," Wes took the next part, "we decided that we don't want to have life like that. That if something like it happened and there was no chance that we would live – we would free each other. We wouldn't let each other suffer like that. We even filled out some papers so that it would be legal. That there would be no chance that someone would interrupt us and not let us to 'pull the plug.'"

"The decision was that I would pull Kurt's plug, Wes – Blaine's, Kurt – Wes's and Blaine mine," finished David.

"So they freed him before you could do that…?" asked Rachel with a lyrical voice.

"Yes, they did…" Wes stood up quickly and ran through the door. He heard David's voice saying calmly that they should leave him alone. He stormed to their bedroom and stood in front of a large photograph which was handing on the wall opposite to their beds. There were four of them in photograph. So happy, so… alive. He put his hand on the photo, touching Blaine's face gently. "You are free my friend. No more sadness, no more pain, no more anger, no more hate. You are free my friend… Not everyone is so lucky." He sighed heavily, sat on the floor and watched with blank eyes dust dancing on the air in warm morning light…


	7. Exceptionality part A

_Blaine_

_Darkness… Darkness is overwhelming… Is this even real? Everything is dark… dark and silent…Except…_

"Honey, you'll see, you're gonna feel better soon. Today the nice doctor about who I told you about is coming. You know, the one who works with such small buddies like you… when they have some problems with their little heads… like you…" _the voice is quiet , barely noticeable._ _It's sad, heavy with sob, but still delicate. Always this voice. Always the same. _"I hope you'll be able to sleep better soon." _Sleep… Something so natural… Something so… terrifying._

_It's the same, always the same dream. Always the same dream when darkness is suddenly lightened with strange light. It isn't warm and comforting, it definitely isn't. It's sudden and wild and warm to a level that makes skin feel like it's burning. This light is not good and steady… it's like fire. And the light itself could make him scream. But no, he is not screaming, not yet. Not till THEY show… There always three of them. Two are mockingly looking at the third one. At least, that's what you can calculate from the way they stand. They don't have faces, none of them… and maybe it's what is the most terrifying – you can't tell who they are. But you can FEEL, what they feel. Two of them are big, burning with anger and hate, one looks small, so small… He is lying on a bed and you can tell , just by looking at him, that he is HORRIFIED. But he is not horrified for himself, not really. But for whom? There are only three of them? So why it seems like he is frightened that something will happen to someone else? But it's temporary. Always it's temporary. Because always his feeling of being terrified for someone else is replaced with the feeling of being terrified for himself. All they have to do is to place the gun to his head…_

_And that's all what darkness allows him to see. All that he can stand, till the scream comes. It's so urgent, coming from somewhere inside, shaking him violently every time it comes. It's like someone was ripping his heart from his chest. But not once. No, it would be too subtle… Someone is ripping his heart out over and over again and then shattering it to peaces. _

_It last various amounts of time. Sometimes all that it takes to make it stop hurting so bad is this nice voice coming from somewhere so far… far away… Sometimes, there is nothing that can stop it. Stop this feeling of being so brutally, painfully killed. It lasts till, eventually, darkness collapses on itself and buries him even deeper than he was buried before . So deep that he almost CAN'T hear her. But he wants to hear her, he needs to hear her so bad… It's the only even slightly comforting thing in his dark, inhospitable world. _

###########################################################################

_Kurt_

"O.K… If you are so stubborn and want to talk about it again… I'll admit. I'm a little bit concerned." _I can hear my father's voice. _

_I sit quietly, hidden behind the cupboard. I'm glad that I'm so little. Well, it isn't such a big surprise, I'm only one year old. And considering the fact that I can't stand on my own, that I'm still crawling on the floor, it makes hiding and following them even easier._

"A little bit concerned?" _my mother is raising her voice… again. It's strange. From what I see on TV, mommies are always nice and quiet, daddies are screaming all the time. It's not that my mommy is not nice or doesn't love me. It's just… everything triggers her to raise her voice _

_Like this time when I was in a shop with her and she found THIS magazine in my carriage. But, still… I can understand her scream in that situation. Nobody believed her that I took THAT magazine by myself. This type of magazine with naked men in it. ONLY men. Everyone was accusing her of giving her son something THAT sick. Sick… I can clearly hear this horrible voice in my head… SICK…It's that what I am? Sick? Is it so wrong that I wanted to look at it? That I really liked it? I mean… I know that it's something wrong with me that I like THIS kind of stuff when I came to this world only fourteen months ago… But I figured it out when I was still in the hospital. I know that maybe it was wrong that I liked THIS kind of stuff… But never thought that THIS kind of stuff was something that people considered as BAD. And SICK. Was it just this particular magazine? I don't really think so… I saw that in their eyes. That it wasn't only about THIS magazine… That it was about… EVERYTHING connected to this magazine. _

_I also saw something else that day. Something that I had never seen before … or maybe I just chose to ignore it? I saw HIM crying. I saw HIS terrified eyes when I was reaching for THIS magazine, but I wasn't really bothered by it. Maybe I should have? Maybe I shouldn't make HIM cry. I don't want to see HIM cry… I tried to talk to HIM about it, tried to tell HIM that HE can talk to ME about EVERYTHING. But, well… I think that I want a little bit too much from some strange spirit who doesn't even talk. HE talked to me only once, a few days after I was born. And that was it. Since then, I haven't heard HIM speak …_

_Oh no, it's not that we aren't communicating. We are, all the time. HE nods if he agrees with me or I can read from HIS face what HE thinks or HE does gestures that help me to understand HIM… And I? Sometimes I talk to myself out loud , causing people to stare at me strangely. Sometimes I just let him read my mind. But I still prefer talking… It's just nice. Even if it can cause me some trouble. Apparently kids my age shouldn't be able to talk in the way I do._

"I think you are overreacting again. He is just different. Some kids start to walk earlier, some kids start to talk earlier. I don't see what's the big deal…" _And here we go again… 'HE IS TOO SMART FOR A ONE YEAR OLD KID', on and on again… Always the same talk…_

"Overreacting? Please, come with me… I'll show you what overreacting means, just come." _My mother is trying to keep her voice calm… But I know it won't last long. It never does . Not until one of them notices me, then they apologize for screaming. When it happens - they try to look innocent, like they never talked about me. Like I can't understand them…_

_I hear them moving. Crap. They are going to the living-room. There is nowhere to hide! They will see me immediately if I decide to follow them! But I really want to know! I want to know what I've done this time . Not that I'm learning to stop doing these particular things. I'm just curious._

"You know what? You are a really crappy spy for someone who is invisible. You could be actually useful… if you actually talked " _I tell HIM quietly, doing one of my LOOKS, which my mother finds adorable… To be honest, I don't see anything adorable in a 'Seriously…? Bitch… please' kind of look, but I think that it's because of how small and young I am. I'm pretty sure that my look will become pretty powerful some day. But my look doesn't scare HIM; to be honest, HIS reaction is quite the opposite. HE is shaking with mute laugh…_

_And then, suddenly… it comes from nowhere…_

"**Honey, talk to me, please. What've I done wrong this time ?" **_I can hear a strangely familiar voice… Is this… HIS voice?_

"**Oh, so you don't know? Sorry, but I don't feel obligated to tell you anything. IT'S SO OBVIOUS, BLAINE! Please, tell me that you're not serious!" **_I hear another voice, also strangely familiar… but I don't know where I've heard it before . _

_But it's not all. Not only voices… Because in one moment I realize… I'm not in the kitchen, hiding behind cupboard. I can see some hand, reaching for hairspray. I'm in a bathroom right now. Not my bathroom, not any other bathroom I ever seen before in my life. It's beautifully decorated, with light blue tiles on the walls and a big mirror on one of them. It's so big… It reaches from the floor to the ceiling. Or at least I think so, because I don't really have a chance to concentrate on any detail. Someone, in whose head I definitely am, is really frantic about something. He is grabbing everything quickly, looking at it, growling when he realizes that it's not that thing he is looking for and slamming it angrily to the place where it was before ._

"**What've you done with it? I swear Blaine! If you don't give it back to me RIGHT NOW, I swear that the consequences will be severe!" **_I catch a glimpse of some figure in the mirror. It must be me. I… mean, it must be this person in whose head I am right now. He is beautiful. Lean figure, perfect pale skin, perfect, completely naked body. _

"**You are not dressed yet? ! We have to go in like… TEN MINUTES! TEN MINUTES KURT! And you are still naked." **_I… he… damn. I'll just stay with I. I don't even bother to _

_turn around. _**"Oh god… this isn't gonna work. You'll never be able to dress in ten minutes! I GAVE YOU ONE HOUR, KURT, ONE HOUR! And what've you done in this one hour, except everything around you into a complete mess?"**

"**I showered." **_My voice is sarcastic, the sentence finished with smirk… IN WHOSE HEAD I AM FOR FUCK'S SAKE! ?_

"**That's just brilliant… Please, tell me… HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO RECEIVE A FUCKING AWARD IF YOU ARE NOT THERE!" **_He is almost on the edge of tears . But it's not a sad cry. It's a cry from frustration._

"**You can go and accept it in my name. OR JUST GIVE IT BACK TO ME, BLAINE! IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! If we didn't share a bathroom I'd be able to find MY OWN STUFF. I wish that everything was like it always was . Just ME and MY bathroom." **_I throw my hands dramatically over my head, sigh heavily and just close my eyes, breathing deeply and leaning against the wall. I just know that I shouldn't say that. That it's bad, really bad. But I couldn't help it… I mean, he, this person couldn't help it. And I know that I can't control him._

"**It's… it's our first apartment together. Are you… are you telling me right now, a few months after we moved here, that… that you're regretting it?" **_His voice is quiet suddenly. It's not even sad. It's just… empty._

"**I don't know, Blaine… What do you think? Am I regretting it?" **_My voice is even more quiet than his. It sounds like a snake's hiss, dripping with venom… WHY I CAN'T JUST SHUT UP? _

"**I'm… I'm… I…" **_He is struggling, I can hear it. Why I must be so horrible to him? He hasn't done anything wrong. At least I don't think so. "_**I'm going to call Mercedes**_. _**I'm sure she is there already. Let her accept award in your name. And I'm calling Wes and David, maybe they'll let me crash in their apartment until I find something else. I hope you'll be happy here on your own. And guess what! You'll have the whole bathroom FOR YOUR THINGS. You can just throw out everything that is not yours. I don't mind…" **_HIS voice is full of resignation… full of pain. _

_WHAT HAVE I DONE TO HIM! ? What has this stupid person done to him! ? I know that's his biggest fear! I don't know where this came from, but I just know that he is afraid all the time that everyone will just abandon him. Like his father did, like his mother technically did, until he was about eighteen and she suddenly realized that he felt abandoned by his own parents, even if he lived with them in one house. And now, I fed his worst fear. I didn't even realize that he left the bathroom. I don't know how long I'm staying here. I just feel that I can't move. _

_It was supposed to be a great day. I was going to accept an award for my FIRST fashion school project, which almost immediately won me the first prize – the chance to get it used by D&G… FUCKING D&G! I know that I probably was just lucky, that I'll probably never win such a thing again… But it was such a wonderful thought! Such a wonderful thought that I could really be a famous fashion designer! I was so… so happy. I had been waiting for this day since I received the call that I won. Since MONTHS ago. I had waited so long. Until this day finally came._

_Everything went wrong from the very beginning… AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I KNOW IT! But well… I guess that it just works like that. That when you enter someone's head, you can just know what they think and have open access to this person's memory. Simple as that. _

_But where I was… yes, everything went wrong from the beginning. First of all – I overslept. Overslept so badly that I decided that I'd just skip school this time. So I got up from bed and tried to remember my speech, when I realized that I DIDN'T REMEMBER IT. So I started to memorize it hectically and I finally managed, even if I'm not completely happy with the results. Then I wanted to dress myself in my favorite suit… When I realized that it HAD A BIG STAIN IN THE FRONT OF IT! I didn't even bothered to think where it was from, I just jumped into my car and rushed to the dry cleaner. But they told me that they wouldn't be able to clean it till the next day so I just swore silently and ran to buy another one. Once I chose the proper suit and I wanted to pay for it… I REALIZED THAT I DIDN'T HAVE MY CREDIT CARD WITH ME! So I rushed to apartment for it then rushed back again for this suit. When I came home, Blaine had already finished his school for the day. He told me… TOLD ME THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE WARM WATER! How was I supposed to shower with cold water? You know what it would do to my skin? So we waited for the plumber, but he called to say that he had a flat tire and he wouldn't be able to come to us earlier than in two hours. Two hours! We were supposed to be there in two hours! So Blaine decided that he'd be a plumber. I don't know how but after about an hour he finally managed to fix it. And I had only one hour left! So I took a shower and after I got out of it I realized that I really didn't know where my body lotion was… FUCKING BODY LOTION! I made him run from here BECAUSE OF FUCKING BODY LOTION! I'm just so stupid sometimes! _

_Wait… is he still here? I CAN STILL FIX IT! Yes, he is! I can hear his footsteps. He is going towards the door. NOOOOOO! I CAN'T LET HIM GO!_

"**Blaine? Please, come and talk…" **_My eyes are still closed. I hear Blaine standing in one place, please, let it work. _**"Don't… don't leave me alone!" **_I can't help it. I'm just sobbing. I feel that my legs are suddenly so heavy that I can't stand. So I just let myself slide to the floor. And there he is, like always, my hero…_

"**Kurt!" **_I hear his scream. He is running toward me, kneeling beside me, touching my forehead with a shaking hand. _

"**What's wrong, are you sick? Do you have a fever; you want me to call a doctor?" **_But I'm not responding, I'm just sobbing. _

_How can he be so perfect? How can he care for me so much, after what I've done to him just minutes ago?_

"**Baby, what's happening, you are scaring me! Did you catch a cold? I'm certain you did. Running around naked in the bathroom for almost an hour after a hot shower… Come here." **_I can feel his strong hands crawling behind my back and my legs and lifting me from the floor. _**"I'll lay you in bed and then I'll make you some tea. You are so cold…" …**_and you are so warm… _

_He is laying me in bed, and wrapping me in blankets. It feels so nice… I feel that my breath is evening out. I can finally stop sobbing. I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. I can hear him coming toward me again, putting a cup on the night stand. But I can't look at him. Not yet. I close my eyes again._

"**I'll help you sit and drink, O.K? And if you don't feel better I'm calling an ambulance. Something is certainly wrong with you…" **_his firm hand is touching my back and pulling me gently toward sitting position. But I can't sit. I feel so numb right now. _

"**O.K. That's it. I'm calling an ambulance."**

"**No ambulance." **_I manage to speak quietly . I still have my eyes closed. I can't make myself look into his eyes right now._

"**But honey… You can't even sit. You are barely conscious. Why you don't want me to call an ambulance?"**

"**I'm fine." **_Tears start falling. _**"I'm just hysteric right now. I think that I be having some sort of hysteric attack… but I'll be O.K. soon, I promise."**

"**What… what do you want me to do?" **_His voice is so soft, full of concern, affection. In this moment I wish that I could read his mind. What must he think about me?_

"**Just… just be with me till I manage to compose myself again. Then we will talk. And then… Then you can go to Wes and David if you wish." **_With thr few last words, a loud sob escapes my throat. _

_And there he is again, my comforting knight in shining armor. He is lying next to me and then grabbing me lightly, letting me fall into his chest. His hand is stroking my hair gently for few minutes. _

"**I wasn't leaving to go to them. I just wanted to take a walk, you know?" **_he says finally. I open my eyes in shock. __WHAT?_

"**You… you weren't ?" **

"**No…" **_He sighs heavily_ **"I wanted to, to be honest. I came to our bedroom to pack my things. I called Mercedes and told her to think about something and get your award because we won't be able to be there on time… and then I wanted to call them. But I just couldn't. And I didn't know why. So I just decided that I'd sit for a moment and think about it all. Think about that you didn't wanted to hurt me. That you were under a lot of stress today and this stress must be talking. Think about your earlier life, that you are really not used do sharing a bathroom, because you had your own since you were five or something. About… about how much I love you and that I could lose you if I just march from here with all my things. And I couldn't let it happen. I was still mad at you, so I wanted to take a walk and cool down a little bit. But then… Then you know what happened. Don't do it again, please. You scared the living crap out of me."**

"**Sorry…" **_I giggle nervously. And is… is it really happening? Yes! I'm finally lifting myself to look my lover in the eye… OH MY GOD, IT'S REALLY HIM! I'm in HIS lover's head! But how did I manage to do it! ? And why is HE who I see every day so different from this version of him, that I've just seen right now? So that's HIS name. Blaine. I finally know HIS name! But why is HE with me? Why isn't HE with his lover? Why they aren't holding each other every day like they are doing right now? Or maybe they are holding each other every day and HE is still alive and still in love, still so… young. About twenty? Maybe less? No, it doesn't fit. It's more like… like a memory. Am I in HIS memories? But how…? Why…?_

"**Why are you looking at me like that?" **_HE is smiling so gently, so beautifully… I've seen HIM every day since the day I was born… and I never saw HIM smiling like that. Funny… I thought before that HE was beautiful. And now? I don't even know how to describe HIM. Absolutely stunning? Breathtaking? Yeah… I think that can work. _

"**Just thinking." **_I smile teasingly. _

"**About what?" **_HE smiles at me in the same way_

"**About what I've done to be with someone as wonderful as you. Seriously, are you even real? Isn't it all just a dream?" **_Am I flirting with HIM? Yes, I definitely am. _

"**I ask myself exactly the same questions every day. What have I done to be with someone like you? What have I done to find my soul mate in fucking high school? Tell me, what were the possibilities of finding someone like you in freaking gay Hogwarts. I'd say NONE. But oh, there you were… Even after a forever which I spent looking for you." **_HE is laughing lightly. HE is happy, so very happy! What happened? Why do I see every day merely a reflection of this beautiful young man I have in front of me right now? What happened to HIS lover? Is he… DEAD too?_

"**You are such a dork sometimes." **_I feel that his happiness is affecting me also. I never felt so happy before in my life. _

"**But you still love me." **_Oh my god… please, tell me that he isn't doing what I think he's doing. OMG he is. His eyes. His big, beautiful, hazel puppy-dog eyes…I want to be drawn into them and never come back._

"**Yeah, I do love you." **_I lean down and kiss him on the lips softly. _

"**So… would you tell me what that was about?" **_He is pointing with his hand toward bathroom door._

" **It's stupid." **_I murmur. I feel that I'm turning red. I'm so ashamed…_

"**Try me."**

"**Icouldn'tfindmybodylotion," **_I say as quick as possible._

"**You what?" **_He is teasing, I can tell . I can tell that he understood, he just wants me to say it again properly, so he can tease me even more. Strange thing is, I don't really mind. _

"**Iiiiiiiiii cooooouldnnnnnnn't fiiiiiiiiiiind myyyyy boooodyyyy loootiiooon," **_this time I'm teasing him to, saying this sentence as slowly as possible._

"**Wait… so you nearly kicked me out of our first apartment in NEW YORK, because you accused me of taking your body lotion?"**

_I'm nodding slowly, refusing to meet his gaze._

"**Oh my god! Couldn't you just use MINE?" **_He acts like he is mad, but I just know that he certainly is not._

"**Blaine, your skin is olive and healthy. Mine is almost porcelain white and very delicate," **_I explain in a tone which indicates that I'm talking about something obvious. Because I am, right? It IS obvious that I couldn't use HIS body lotion._

"_**Sooo…?..." **_

_That's it. I just can't stand it anymore. If I just could send him my bitch glare… He definitely deserves it right now. Wait… am I… I mean, HIS lover actually DOING it?_

"**Kurt!" **_Blaine giggles completely uncontrollably _**"Your 'bitch glare' is just wonderful. But you know that I actually love it and many times I tease you just to make you do it?"**

"**Yeah, I know." **_I feel that my features are softening._

"**I love you so much, Kurt," **_says Blaine with dreamy eyes._

"**I love you too, Blaine," **_I feel myself saying … and then everything just goes blank… _


	8. Exceptionality part B

_Blaine_

"My sweet boy, my sweet Jeremy…" Mrs. Smith held her little son in her hands. "I hope that nothing is hurting you. You have been silent since that scream in the middle of the night. I don't know if I should cry or be happy that you screamed last at 2 o'clock in the morning and it's already noon. It's unusual for you… I know I should be happy that you are not screaming, because it clearly shows that you're not in pain anymore. At least I hope so… But I can't be really happy… Sometimes…" she tried to stifle her sob "… sometimes your screaming is the only sign that… that you are still alive."

She looked her son in the eyes. It had already been fourteen months. Fourteen months since he became sick. Fourteen months since he nearly died…

She looked her son in the eyes, but he didn't look at her. He never does , look at anyone. And certainly he doesn't look anyone in the eye. He moves his eyes when somebody is moving near him, following follows them with his gaze. But that's it. That's the only movement he does . That and also avoiding other peoples' eyes. He always does that . If you try to look him in the eye, he just rolls his eyes somewhere else.

And that was it, what was happening right now. His mom was looking at his eyes; he was looking at the wall behind her. Or, maybe looking was the wrong world. Even thought the doctors told Mrs. Smith that he must see, because he is clearly looking at people and following them with his eyes, but she wasn't so sure. She wasn't sure about anything. She wasn't even sure if he could hear her… She kept telling herself that, and her husband kept telling her the same… but she really didn't believe it … And what the doctors said? It's not like doctors had given her any reason to trust them…

The sound of doorbell took her out of her reverie. She put her son down on his bed and covered him carefully with the blanket. She made sure that he was lying in a proper position and went to open the door.

Behind the door stood a woman in her late forties. She was wearing a cream suit and black shoes with high heels . She reached her hand out as soon as Mrs. Smith opened the door.

"Good morning. My name is Dr. Shelby Moore and I came to visit little Jeremy Smith. This is the correct address, right?

"Yes, yes it is." Mrs. Smith shook her hand "My name is Emily Smith and I'm Jeremy's mom."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Smith. Do you mind if I come in?"

"Of course!" Mrs. Smith suddenly realized that they were still standing outside the flat. "Please, come in!" she took a step away from the door and showed Dr. Shelby the way to the living room.

Dr. Shelby came inside, looking around while doing so . As she had thought after reading e-mails from Mrs. Smith. Typical, middle class family, parents of only one child. She could say that because of lack of photographs on walls. She could understand that. From what Mrs. Smith told her, she could easily presume that watching Jeremy lying in his bed every day was painful enough. She knew that she would have to go to meet him eventually, but she wanted to talk with his mother face to face before that.

"So…" she began, sitting herself comfortably on one of the armchairs which she saw in living room. This time, she didn't even wait for permission. They were beyond that. If she wanted to help the kid, she had to know his parents. She was a little bit mad that father was nowhere to be seen, but she could understand that too. He was probably working whole the time earning money, so he could afford taking his kid to doctors like her.

"So, let us gather everything that I know from your e-mails and fill in the blanks," she continued after Mrs. Smith sat in front of her.

" Where I should start…?" Mrs. Smith took a deep breath

"Maybe from the beginning… From what I know, he was born completely healthy, right?"

"You could say so." Mrs. Smith smiled bitterly. "He was born in time… well, a little bit before time but it was only week or so. Nothing drastic about it…"

" Yes, it's quite normal. Especially with a first child," interrupted her Dr. Shelby.

"The doctors in the hospital told me the same… Then he had jaundice."

"Also completely normal… But let's move to the NOT normal part."

"The NOT normal…" Mrs. Smith sighed heavily. Dr. Shelby knew that this subject was painful, but she had to know everything. "Well… it was the day when he was discharged. My husband was waiting in the car, I was about to go with Jeremy out of the hospital, holding him tightly in my arms. He was so happy! I just saw it, painted all over his face. And I'm sure he was smiling! Everything was almost over, we were almost outside the hospital… But I still had to wait for his discharge documents. So I just sat with him in the waiting room. I remember that some people were screaming really loud, but my son still managed to fall asleep. At least I thought so… his eyes were closed… I don't know, maybe it was IT, maybe it was the moment when he got sick, not the moment when I realized that something was wrong," She raised her hand and ran her fingers through her hair. "But… but we were sitting there, with those screaming people… and he was calm the whole time… Till he suddenly wasn't. He stiffed visibly so I hugged him even closer to me. I though… I though that maybe he couldn't sleep because of the screams so I tried to calm him down, stroking his little head. But it wasn't working. He was still so stiff… I was scared that something was wrong with him, but I tried to tell myself that he is was just tired… But he started screaming a moment later and I couldn't lie to myself anymore. My son was in pain. I tried to make him stop crying, hugging him even tighter and whispering in his ear. But he was still screaming… Not child-cry screaming. Terrified-adult screaming. I never heard any infant screaming like that. Like someone was tearing him apart… And then all the stiffness went away… To be honest, everything went away. Suddenly it felt like I was holding numb flesh in my hands. That was it, I couldn't wait anymore. I ran with my kid to the doctors and told them that my son was really sick. They didn't believe me!"

"They should have…" Dr. Shelby told her quietly. She reached out her hand and put it on Mrs. Smith's knee. She knew that the most horrible part was still ahead and she wanted to show Mrs. Smith that she was still with her.

"I KNOW THEY SHOULD HAVE!" screamed Mrs. Smith, feeling that her eyes were filling with tears. "But they didn't! I went from doctor to doctor; none of them even looked at him properly! Everyone told me that he was just sleeping! Sleeping? He was screaming like he was dying just minutes ago, and now suddenly he would just sleep? But then, some doctor looked at him… And I clearly saw fear in his eyes. I looked down at my son… he was turning purple. I didn't even realize when that doctor took my little Jeremy from my hands and ran with him somewhere. I was just standing there, unable to move. My husband came minutes later, asking me about Jeremy… I just told him that they took him somewhere. My husband demanded answers, he was asking every single doctor or nurse he saw… but no one really knew what was happening. About fifteen minutes later some doctor approached us. He told us… told us that our son's heart stopped beating. That they are doing everything they can, but they can't guarantee us that they would save him… THEY CAN'T GUARANTEE US? And what about the fucking five minutes which I spent asking every fucking doctor for help?"

"How long was his heart not beating?"

"Twenty five minutes, if you add the five minutes I was carrying his limp body to the twenty minutes in which they were reanimating him." Mrs. Smith looked through the window, trying to gather her thoughts. "He was in a deep coma for the next three months. Five months after that they discharged him. They don't know what happened even now. Nobody knows…" she giggled uncomfortably. "Except that crazy lady on the street, who told me that my son isn't really my son, that it's someone else's soul in my sons body, and this soul is suffering inconceivable sorrows and that's why my son is suffering."

"She was really crazy," Dr. Shelby smirked.

"Yeah, she was…" said Mrs. Smith quietly. "Although… she knew that his heart stopped beating a few days after he was born and I really don't know how she could know that."

"She told you why?" Dr. Shelby didn't believed that woman, not even a little bit. She was just curious what that bigot crazy lady had to say.

"She told me that something happened that , quite literally, broke this soul's heart. It doesn't even make sense, a soul with a heart… But she told me that this soul wanted to die so badly and was so powerful that it managed to stop my son's heart. And even now this soul is still there, buried down in my son's conscious. And probably even doesn't know that it's still alive."

"You believe her…" said Dr. Shelby carefully. She didn't want to make Mrs. Smith think that she thinks that she is crazy, she just saw it in her eyes. Hope…

"I don't know what I should believe anymore." Mrs. Smith looked at Dr. Shelby with an absent sigh. "Should I believe some crazy lady, whom gave me at least SOME explanation, or maybe I should believe the doctors, who STILL don't have ANY rational explanation."

"They tell you that he has brain damage, that's why he is the way he is, right?"

"Severe brain damage because of lack of oxygen… Some of them say that he is still in a deep coma… One even tested him to see if his brain isn't dead already. But all of them are just focused on effect, on what I have now. None of them can tell me how his HEALTHY heart could just stop. Completely stop. Stop in a way that doctors almost couldn't manage to make it beat again. Even when he was still in the coma they were testing his heart, even calling doctors from other hospitals and asking them for consultation…"

"Let me guess… They all told you that his heart is completely fine, right?"

"His heart, his lungs, all his internal organs… Tests that the doctor who thought that Jeremy is dead did showed us that even his brain is working properly!"

"It clearly isn't, from what you've told me," said Dr. Shelby, debating on every single world "And you know that I won't be able to tell you about his heart, right?"

"I know…" Mrs. Smith buried her head in her hands. "But that's the scariest part. His heart managed to stop beating once… What if it happens again, just because doctors CAN'T TELL ME what is wrong with it? What if it just stops beating again and he'll be gone forever?"

"I can't help you with that. " Dr. Shelby stroked her head delicately. "But maybe I can help with his brain problems… But you know what my specialization is, right? I'm not really working with brain in an anatomical sense _per se_."

"I know…" murmured Mrs. Smith. "But one doctor suggested to me that maybe his problems are lying not _per se_in his brain, or at least not its anatomy or any visible damage. He told me about many other possibilities, like autism… But from what I read about this illness, I'm not so sure."

"Well I guess that's why I'm here." said Dr. Shelby trying to put the atmosphere at ease. "I think that I know everything that I wanted to know… I just have one last question."

"Yes?" Mrs. Smith raised her head and looked Dr. Shelby in the eye.

"I want to know… WHY you contacted me. I mean, I know that you want to know what's wrong with your son… But WHY are you doing this?"

"I think I just…" she narrowed her eyes, trying to concentrate on right answer. "I want him to be happy."

"Not healthy?" asked Dr. Shelby, intrigued.

"No." Mrs. Smith shook her head. "I'm beyond healthy now… I think that I just came to terms with the fact that he is sick and probably always will be. I just want him to be happy. I want to somehow ease his suffering. And if finding the cause of his sickness can make him feel better… I'm ready to do everything for him."

"Let's see him, shall we?" asked Dr. Shelby smiling a little. "_That's what I thought. She's gonna do anything for her son. That's a very good thing. If her son is really autistic, she'll have to work really hard with him. But I can see it now, she is ready to do it,"_ she thought.

Both women rose to their feet and walked in the direction of Jeremy's room.

###########################################################################

_Kurt_

"Michael, sweetie, do it for mommy, open your beautiful brown eyes." Mrs. Jones was sitting near her little son's bed with one hand on her son's head and other in her husband's embrace. Her husband was standing near her looking nervously at his watch. It had already been fifteen minutes since they found him unconscious on the kitchen floor. Since he came from the hospital he hadn't had any problems with his health. But considering the fact that he spent nearly half a year in the hospital, they treated every little sneeze like a threat on their son's life. And being unconscious was certainly a big deal.

"Mommy?" they heard finally, releasing the breath which they had been holding till now. "What happened, Mommy?"

"You lost consciousness sweetheart," said his father delicately.

"I… what?" Michael momentarily remembered what had happened, at least from his point of view. He remembered two lovers lying together in bed. He remembered their "I love yous" and remembered that suddenly he stopped seeing anything. _" Did I faint before my 'vision', during it, or after?"_ he tried to figure it out, knowing that his parents wouldn't be able to answer this question for him. He slowly opened his eyes. "How long?"

"Fifteen minutes. At least, we found you fifteen minutes ago, carried you to bed and called Dr. Chang and Dr. Wright. They are on their way," explained his father

"Why both of them?" asked a Michael, a little surprised. "Beside… my heart and my brain are fine."

"We weren't sure what made you unconscious, so we called your neurologist and cardiologist," said his mother. "And I know that you have them and your pulmonologist 'just in case' because every test they run on you show that the organs which were underdeveloped are developed now, but…"

"But you thought that you had to call them because I was really sick when I was born. I was born prematurely and many of my internal organs were slightly or severely underdeveloped, including my heart, lungs and brain. Yes I know, I remember it," Michael finished for her and looked at his father who stiffened visibly.

"Yeah, you remember," said his father finishing the sentence with nervous giggle.

"What have I done this time…?" Michael rolled his eyes. But he was almost certain right now what it all was about. _"I knew I shouldn't do it. But I was SO bored!"_

"You solved a crossword puzzle… A really difficult crossword puzzle," said his mother so quietly that he almost couldn't heard her.

"I knew it! I knew that it was another 'too smart for your age' thing. What now, another talk about how you love me but I'm not normal?" His father opened mouth to say something, but Michael cut him off. "Oh, sorry… I'm 'unusual' like mom always says or 'exceptional' like always you say. We all know what is hiding behind those big words… 'our son is a freak'" Michael started crying. _"Do they think that I like it? That I like the fact that I have the knowledge of an adult? And now I had that 'vision'… and I don't even know how it happened or if it will happen again… I must talk with HIM, but I can't do it when they are here. They already think that I'm a freak. I don't need to add another thing to their 'list of things to talk about'."_

"Honey!" his mother took him to her arms and hugged him tightly. "You are not a freak! Don't think about yourself that way! And we certainly don't think like that! You are our son and we love you just the way you are!"

"So what do you think about me? I heard you… that you are 'concerned'…" Michael couldn't stop crying. To be honest, he didn't even try. "What now, you decided to completely isolate me from the world? Close me in the house because 'the world is ugly' and someone might want to kidnap me or something and take advantage of my intelligence? Guess what, YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE IT. I haven't been outside the house since that 'porn magazine incident'."

"You know that it's for your own sake." His father took a deep breath. "People are afraid of everyone who is different and you are different in so many ways that we don't even know where to start…"

"We already talked about it, remember?" said his mother, softly stroking his hair "We'll wait another two or three years till we introduce the world to you. You agreed with us that there is a lot of hate, you watch television and you watched the news even though we tried to make you stop doing it. You are too precious for us to let this ugly world hurt you. You understand that, right?"

"Yeah…" agreed Michael, who was able to calm himself down.

"We were talking about something a little bit different… We want to find another doctor to help us with you," his mother told him.

"Another?" screamed Michael, jumping slightly on his mother arms "What for this time?"

"Your brain is developing in some strange way…" started his father carefully. He didn't want do make Michael even more mad than he was now. "I mean, your intelligence is just breathtaking… But your body? And your ability to move properly? You should be able to at least stand, especially when we hold you. But you are still crawling. Your little legs are unable to hold you… Well, not only your legs…"

"… I know what you mean" interrupted him Michael. _"I think that some physiotherapist isn't a really bad idea. Considering the fact that I can't even play properly because toys just fall from my hands all the time. It's a strange feeling, almost like my body isn't listening to me, doing what it wants against my will."_

"So, are we good?" asked his father with hope in his voice.

"Yeah, we are…" Michael kissed his mother on the cheek. "Now, can you put me down to bed and give me a little time for myself till doctors show up?"

"I don't know." Michael looked at his father who was clearly concerned. "We found you unconscious on the floor; you don't know how scared we were. We weren't even sure how long it lasted before we found you… And then it lasted another fifteen minutes till you finally woke up."

"You can sit in front of my room, door open. I just want to think and I prefer to do it when I'm on my own." clarified Michael, looking his mother right in the eye, trying to put her on his side.

"O.K" she said eventually, kissing him on the forehead and putting him carefully on bed.

His father, who still wasn't sure if they were doing the right thing, covered him tightly in the blanket and kissed his little cheek.

"It'll be O.K. Daddy. I promise. I'll scream if I feel bad, O.K? But I really feel good," Michael tried to cheer him up.

"We'll wait outside, sunshine. Call us if you need anything," said his mother, and then they left him alone in his room.

When Michael was certain they were outside the room he started to look around. He hadn't seen HIM when he woke up and he was afraid that he had lost him forever. **"Blaine…"** he whimpered quietly .

"Don't call me that. It's too painful. HE was fine with me. Blaine reminds me of what I've lost. And I can't let myself live in the past. I must take care of you, you are the most important now"

Michael heard HIS voice, but still couldn't see HIM.

"_Where are you?"_ he decided that he would settle with thinking to communicate with him. He reminded himself that his parents were watching.

"On the floor… Don't move, I'm standing up," and as HE spoke , HE showed up standing near Michael's bed.

"_You were there whole the time?"_

"Yes… I tried to think, to figure out what happened…"

"_And what?"_

"I don't have any idea." HE giggled uncomfortably, leaning down and kissing Michael on the cheek. "Sorry for that. But I really couldn't do anything to stop it."

"_Were you with me?"_

"Technically, no. Just past me. And past me didn't realize that something was wrong… But I know what you saw."

"_Can you tell me something about Kurt?" _asked Michael with hope. He really wanted to know WHY he had seen what he saw, find even smallest explanation.

"Sorry, but I can't. That's one of the reasons I don't talk to you every day. There are things you are not supposed to know. And I can't let myself just something of it slip because it could destroy you."

"_What are you? Answer me at least this question. Are you a ghost?"_

"I'm more like a shadow. Part of a soul that died long time ago… Yes, my body is dead, but you can't really say that I'm dead, you understand?" HE looked at Michael carefully.

"_I think so… I'm sorry." _He didn't know why he said it, it just felt like the right thing to say.

"Don't be. You did nothing wrong and shouldn't be sorry."

"_Will it happen again?"_

"I don't know… But unfortunately… I think that it's only the beginning… But as I said, I can't control it and I CAN'T tell you what was it and why it happened , even when I know." Michael frowned. "Sorry. As I said, I can't tell you everything. I think that I've told you enough already".

"_You did this to me, right? I mean… you are the reason why I'm so unique… Or at least why I don't understand why I am like that."_

"Your mind is too fragile. You wouldn't have survived if I haven't done what I did. And I'm here to protect you. Even from yourself." HE looked Michael deeply in the eyes, hoping that he wouldn't be mad at him.

"_Thank you," _said Michael, because even if he didn't get the answers he was hoping he'd get, at least he knew that he was safe.

"That's my job." HE smiled warmly looking at Michael with affection. "Besides… I like to take care of you."

"_Too bad you can't talk to me everyday. You have a beautiful voice… and I'm not even sure if your voice is better when you speak… or you sing." _Michael looked at HIM with hope. He didn't know if he was doing the right thing. If he should say that he had listened few times when HE was singing, thinking that Michael was sleeping deeply. But he had already told him that and he couldn't take it back.

As he had feared,HE stiffened and took few steps backward. HE looked at Michael like he was afraid of something. Michael was sure already that he had done something wrong. That maybe HE wouldn't speak to him ever again. But he just had to try.

"_I know what your reaction means… It means 'he shouldn't know it, what I've done'…"_ he thought sadly _"But nothing happened. I heard you singing few times and nothing bad happened. The world is still standing. My brain didn't explode"_ HIS eyes were wide with horror. _"It's O.K. Really. I said it because I hoped that you'd sing to me sometimes. Not talk, because I know that you're afraid that you'll say something wrong. But your singing can't hurt me, right?"_ Michael felt that he was crying again.

HE looked at him sadly, thinking about deeply something . Then HE finally made a decision, HE came toward Michael again and hugged him tightly.

"Sometimes won't hurt you. Not all the time, but sometimes I can. But not at this moment. The doctors will be here soon. But I can sing to you before you go to sleep. Or after you wake up. O.K?" HE looked at Michael with hope in his eyes. Michael smiled warmly. "I'll take that as a YES," HE said, and in the spirit of the moment – he leaned down and kissed him tenderly in the lips.

###########################################################################

_Blaine_

"And…?" asked Jeremy's mom, impatient at the lack of expertise from Dr. Shelby. She was staying near them, watching Dr. Shelby lifting him, shifting his legs and arms in different positions and trying to force him to look at her. But most of all – just observing him.

"What can I do to make him scream?" asked Dr. Shelby finally.

"Why… why do you want to make him scream? What kind of doctor are you!" snapped Mrs. Smith.

"I'm trying to help him. I can do it only after looking at every sort of interaction he has . If I don't have some part of his daily behavior, I can't do anything," Dr. Shelby told her calmly, still working with Jeremy.

"I…" Mrs. Smith felt really bad for her earlier outburst. "I'm sorry I snapped like that. It's just…"

"I get that you are frustrated and I can see why. But I ask you again… What I can do to make him scream?"

"I don't know, really… It happens randomly. And today… today I don't know if we can do it. He has been silent since 2 o'clock in the morning." She came closer to her son. "But I remember what I did last time, when he started screaming… I was… I was singing to him. I do it all the time… but this time? He started screaming so bad, that I almost called an ambulance."

"I'm here." Dr. Shelby put hand on her shoulder "Try to do it again."

"O.K…" Mrs. Smith's eyes were starting to get watery. "Sorry sweetheart…" she managed to say, and then she began to sing.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
>Take these broken wings and learn to fly<br>All your life  
>You were only waiting for this moment to arise"<span>

Dr. Shelby was standing near them, looking at Jeremy's face, waiting for any kind of reaction on his part. Nervous blinking, a wince, just anything indicating that Jeremy really can see them, really can react to the things that are outside of his little world. Because that was the first, and to be honest the only, thing about which she was 100% sure. That Jeremy is closed in some sort of inner universe. She doesn't have even the slightest idea what he is seeing everyday. She was even forced to admit to herself that she is simply scared of this kid. Something was wrong with him. Something was wrong in a way that never had been with any other autistic kid. Because he was autistic, he had to be, right? She knew that she is simplifying the diagnosis … but she was almost certain that the medications which parents usually give kids with autism could help him. Even if she wasn't so sure about autism _per se_.

"Black bird singing in the dead of night  
>Take these sunken eyes and learn to see<br>all your life  
>you were only waiting for this moment to be free"<span>

That was the moment when Dr. Shelby first saw him reacting in any way. With the last line of this verse she saw his lips visibly twitching and parting in a way that indicated the possibility of making an effort to communicate in some way. _"That's it, he can hear, I'm sure now."_

"Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly  
>Into the light of the dark black night."<span>

The twitching became even more noticeable, his eyes started wandering madly through the room, sometimes even stopping and focusing for a moment on his mother's face.

"Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly  
>Into the light of the dark black night."<span>

And that was it. The moment when 'the scream' came. His mother was right; she had never seen any child screaming like that, definitely not a one-year-old child. His blue eyes momentarily rolled to the back of his head, which made him look like he was having some sort of seizure, his body stiffened in a way that made his back bend into an arch, his fists clenched firmly, knuckles white and his feet jabbing into the mattress. With every scream his back went down a little when he was taking breath and rose again when he was delivering another portion of scream. And the sound of the scream? He was screaming like his whole life depended on it. Like it was the last thing keeping him alive, or like it was the sound of life running from his body. She couldn't decide like what it sounded, but she decided that this scream was the most horrible thing that she had heard in her whole life. Many of her patients communicated with the world using the scream as a form of speaking. She was pretty sure that this kid's brain worked in at least similar conditions. That he want to say something. She couldn't decide what.

"Can I… can I hug him…?..." Mrs. Smith's voice pulled her back to reality. She had forgotten that his mother was in the room._ "Time to shake things up a little bit," _she thought.

"No."

"What..?... But he won't be able to calm down without me hugging him! I've done that! I must calm him down!"

"No. You can't just pat him on the shoulder and whisper to him all the time. You are not helping him when you are doing that . You're making things worse " she came closer to Jeremy, touched his shoulders and shook him strongly. "I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!" she screamed, trying to deaden his screams "AND I KNOW THAT YOU CAN FIGHT IT, YOU MUST TRY! JUST TRY, NOTHING MORE!" his body loosened up a little bit, but he was still screaming. "I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, BUT I KNOW THAT YOU ARE SCARED. DON'T CLOSE YOURSELF UP EVEN MORE THAN YOU ARE ALREADY CLOSED." His eyes rolled back to place and he looked right in someone's eyes for the first time in his life. "I KNOW THAT YOU WANT TO TELL US SOMETHING, BUT YOU MUST CONTROL IT IF YOU WANT US TO UNDERSTAND YOU." He took a deep breath, looked her definitely in the eyes, then looked at his mother and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened his eyes again – the scream was gone and his eyes were moist with the tears forming in them.

"O.K. So…" Dr. Shelby put her hands aside and looked at Jeremy's mother. She was looking at Dr. Shelby like she was some kind of witch. "When can I see you in my office with him?" Mrs. Smith was still gazing at her. "Mrs. Smith?"

"What?" Mrs. Smith blinked a few times, took a deep breath and focused her vision on her son, who was still looking in her direction. "I mean… you want to torture him more?"

"I wasn't torturing him." She came closer to Mrs. Smith and, putting one hand on her shoulder and another on her back, she guided her to the nearest chair. "Here, please, sit. And tell me where the kitchen is."

"On the right, near the front door" Mrs. Smith wasn't even bothered as to why this strange woman asked her about her kitchen. She was waited until she left the room. When she was sure that Dr. Shelby was nowhere to be seen, she stood up and came closer to her son. He was still crying, but something in him had visibly changed. He wasn't searching for her gaze, but when she kneeled beside him – their gazes met. And she was sure that for at least a second he was really LOOKING at her, that he was seeing her. It was enough for her. Proof that not only his body, but that her son is still alive. She took him to her arms and hugged him tightly. When his small hand moved and his fist closed on her forearm, she was close to celebrating. Maybe this doctor had unconventional methods and for a moment Mrs. Smith had been afraid that she wouldn't help him, just make him worse, but now all her concerns went away.

"I said no patting him on the shoulder when he is crying. He must learn that he can't just throw it all on you," said a soft voice behind her.

Mrs. Smith turned around slowly. Behind her stood Dr. Shelby, holding…two cups of tea.

"I figured that you'd need some tea. I definitely need it . Can you put him down again? So we can talk?" said Dr. Shelby, putting the cups on the table, which was in the corner of the room.

"We can talk, but I'm not putting him down." Mrs. Smith's voice was firm and steady. She approached Dr. Shelby and sat near her.

"As you wish," Dr. Shelby sighed deeply, taking another chair.

"I can't put him now." Jeremy's mom looked at him with love in her eyes. "Look at his little hand. He's never done that before. Never ever. He was limp all the time… except the screaming episodes. You saw what happens with him during those. " she kissed her son on the head.

"He is doing it now because I shook him up a little."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… O.K. let's just say that your son is autistic. Severe autistic even…"

"So his brain isn't damaged?" Mrs. Smith shifted her neck a little. _"That's something new,"_ she thought.

"I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I don't think so. At least, not in the mechanic sense… He isn't a typical case of autism… But maybe that's because of his isolation. I never saw any kid isolated so deeply that they lost contact with the world almost completely."

"What do you mean by 'shook him up'…? And why you didn't you want me to hug him?"

"Because if you pat him on the shoulder when he is screaming, you're giving him a 'that's O.K., mommy is here , scream if you wish' sign. And he doesn't need a 'being isolated is good' sign. He needs 'come here for god's sake and don't close yourself even deeper'. Because most of it – he is doing to himself."

"So you want me to shake him up and ignore him till he dies?" Mrs. Smith smirked. It was an absurd idea, and there was no way that it could help her son, was there ?

"No…" Dr. Shelby took a sip of her tea. "Till he starts to communicate. Because he can do it. Making sounds, even screaming… but screaming with some kind of purpose. Not just an 'I'm so sick and miserable' scream, but, for example 'I'm hungry' or 'I'm bored' screams or even 'I'm scared' screams."

"And you'll teach him to communicate and teach me to interpret his communications, right?" Mrs. Smith was less skeptical than minutes before. _"At least I'd know that I was doing something to make him better, not only keeping him alive, but also helping him."_

"It's going to be a long road for both of you… But I think that the profit can be kinda big. Probably he'll never be a 'normal'kid, probably he will always be somewhat isolated from the world… But I think that he'll at least have some connection with it. And I think that something is better than nothing, right?"

"You bet…" Mrs. Smith smiled sadly. Dr. Shelby was right. Something always will be better than nothing… She looked through the window. Wind was chasing away the clouds, revealing sunlight and light blue sky. She let herself drift away a little. _"Will the same thing happened with my son, will I be finally able to see the sunlight in him? Will he ever be happy again?"_

###########################################################################

**A/N 1) I'm definitely not a doctor. You can say that I'm a little medic freak 'cause I always wanted to be a doctor but well… my whole knowledge I'm basing on TV series like 'House' etc. , programs like 'Rescue 911' etc. , some articles from internet about matters which always passionate me and lessons about first aid in my high school and… that's it. So my knowledge can be not really accurate. **

**[and I'm talking now about this whole 'heart stopped beating' thing… from what I know – someone still can be brought back after so long time but usually it ends with coma or some other serious problems developing from lack of the oxygen… BUT if it's not accurate… I'm really sorry but I have no practice and you can say that I don't have REALLY RELIABLE sources either]**

**2) Jeremy is NOT autistic [if it wasn't clear enough], he is not even sick… well – not in a physical sense. But with no explanation… my characters were searching for SOME explanation and they kinda made up this whole 'autism' thing. So if someone have some knowledge about autism and was having a though 'oh – it doesn't fit' during this chapter… well – it doesn't fit because it never supposed to. **

**[with this whole 'I don't know what is wrong with him so I'll tell the first thing I can thing of as a diagnosis' it's kinda like doctors – at least in my country – are diagnosing every young girl – no matter of her symptoms – telling her that she is pregnant or have neurosis… it's basically a bullshit but well that's how it all works :P]**

**3) I'd really, REALLY appreciate some comment. I have quite a lot of story alerts or favorites… but only three comments… please, give me Christmas present, it would literally made my day if I reached 10 comments [or at least 5 xD]**


	9. WE DEMAND THE TRUTH

**THE NEW YORK TIMES**

Sunday - July 26th, 2020

_WE DEMAND THE TRUTH_

**Today at eight o'clock in the morning, traffic in New York City become paralyzed when a large group of people with colorful laminated signs gathered in front of the building of the New York Supreme Court.**

"**We demand the truth! We demand equality! We demand justice!" the group of two hundred and seventy people was chanting. **

**One of the participants of the gathering, when asked about the reason for the protest, pointed at large photo printed on the biggest of the signs held by a group of ten people. **

**The figures in the photo were Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson.**

**The death of two young homosexual men, which took place in May of last year, shocked the LGBT community in the whole United States. Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel were well known for their efforts put in helping young people, not only from the LGBT community, to find a healthy and friendly environment.**

"**_It's already been over a year," _ Burt Hummel, father of the deceased, told us. _"Over a year since the day when the court and police decided to sweep the whole case under the rug. THEY CLOSED THE CASE WITHOUT PROPER INVESTIGATION. So today we are gathering in front of the Supreme Court and we DEMAND THE TRUTH"_**

"**_They called my son a murderer," _cries Mrs. Anderson _"It's the news which court gave to the whole world – that Blaine Anderson, social activist, graduate of a Julliard and promising singer, songwriter and musician was a murderer. People who knew him know that all of this is just a LIE. But the whole world didn't know him. But the whole world followed this case which in fact never WAS a case, because the court closed it THREE DAYS AFTER OPENING IT. Is that even legal? And now the whole world got the information that he is a murderer… My friends from GREECE and GERMANY and other countries like CANADA or AUSTRALIA were sending me condolences because my son is dead… They were sending me condolences till this court tarnished his name! He was a good man; he deserves to be treated like that even after his death!" _**

"_**Does the court have even slightest idea what kind of message they sent a year ago?" **_**asks Jeff Sterling-Duval, who attended Dalton Academy in Ohio with Mr. Anderson and Mr. Hummel **_**"Actually… two messages. One addressed mostly to the homophobic bullies and young struggling homosexuals and other members of the LGBT community, second – to the members of the LGBT community of any living age or gender. The first message is that being gay is wrong because living in a homosexual relationship will never be happy, so it's just better to give up and live like a 'normal' person. People think that Blaine killed Kurt, so they couldn't be happy in their relationship, right? They don't bother to think about it for a moment, they don't care that Klaine **_**[the nickname given to Kurt and Blaine and used by their friends]** _**were together since they were seventeen and were killed when they were twenty-five. Eight years of a happy, healthy relationship. It definitely wasn't some pathological relationship. It was TRUE LOVE"**_

"**_The second message is that people don't really care," _ Thad Harwood, another former-student of Dalton Academy, finishes for him. _"You can be hurt, robbed, damned, bullied, raped and even murdered, but if you are part of the LGBT community – people won't care. Same sex marriage is now legal in most of the States. But the truth is – people and law are tolerant only on paper. I'm not homosexual and about half of people gathered with me are also heterosexual. But that doesn't mean that we treat our friends from the LGBT community differently than our heterosexual friends. Why can't other people think like us? Why can't the law think like us? Why do they have to send the message to the world that the LGBT community is some kind of lower form of life which doesn't deserve basic human rights?"_**

"**_It's not coincidence that we are gathering today," _says Artie Abrams, former student of McKinley High School in Ohio, one of the schools which Mr. Hummel and Mr. Anderson also attended. _"Exactly four years ago at 8 PM, Blaine asked Kurt to marry him. Of course – Kurt said yes. They would have been married for almost a year if they were still alive. Each of us knew for months that we would attend their wedding in September last year. They were killed in May…"_**

"**_I was lucky,"_ saysNick Sterling-Duval, husband of Jeff Sterling-Duval. _"I'll be completely honest and say that I was a bully in high school. I spent my first year of high school insulting and abusing other people and calling them names like 'fag' or 'queer'… All because I was scared of being who I was. I was scared to admit that I was one of 'them'. Finally my parents had enough and sent me to Dalton Academy where there is a Zero Tolerance No Bullying Policy. At first – I was forced to be tolerant. Until I started to spend more time with Blaine. Until I saw what a wonderful person he was. He told me without hesitation that he was gay. Even after knowing that I was a bully – he wasn't afraid of me and he offered to help me, to teach me how to be better person. And finally – how to accept who I am. I learned later than before he transferred to Dalton he was beaten nearly to death by bullies at his old school. And he still decided that he wanted to help me. I am married now to this wonderful man who is standing near me. We have been in a relationship as long as Klaine was. We started dating a few months after them. Kurt was planning our marriage. He was planning to make it big and beautiful and that was the only reason why he planned our wedding a month later than theirs even when most of the guests were the same. He wanted to concentrate better on each of them. He was killed before he had a chance to finish planning either of them. We married anyway… But it was a really sad and quiet wedding… If it wasn't for our wonderful friends, we wouldn't be married. We wanted to stay in our fiancé state for the next year, maybe more…"_**

"**_It's good that you are married, and I'm still pissed off that you settled with a quiet wedding," _says Lauren Zizes – another former student of McKinley High _"A large wedding would have been a big 'F**K YOU' toward the world and their killer. With a quiet wedding… it was just a simple 'f**k you'."_**

"**_You hear what their high school friends and family are saying. What about hearing about someone whom they SAVED?" _screamed someone from the crowd.**

"**_We are talking about people whom they took care of in their 'Klaine Hunderson Asylum They finished that whole process and started to work in this Asylum two years before they were killed," _says Martha Bennington, who works at the 'Klaine Hunderson Asylum'_ "You see the people gathered with us? About fifty of them are their family and friends. Seventy tops. The rest? The rest are mostly people working or living in the Asylum. We're gathered in a group of two hundred and seventy people. Which leaves us with about… TWO HUNDRED PEOPLE. Two hundred people saved by them in two years! And at the beginning it was only TWO of them!"_**

"**_I was their first," _confesses Brian Richardson from the 'Klaine Hunderson Asylum' _"I was a hustler. I was homeless and hungry and it was the only way to survive. Until one day they saw me standing on a street corner. I was only twenty… they were even younger. Nineteen if I remember clearly. I know that I wasn't feeling well and finally lost conscious. They took me to their house – an unnamed whore. They cleaned me, fed me and offered me a place to stay. This place was… their own apartment. They gave me their guest room and told me that I could stay with them as long as I wanted. I lived with them for half a year. I was their first. The first which helped them to make a decision – the decision that they want to help other people. Not only talk about it but actually help. They helped me to stand on my own feet. They helped me to find the job to find my own apartment. There wasn't any way for me to tell them 'NO' when they asked me if I wanted to work with them. But that's still not the biggest thing. After a few days of my living with them, when they saw that I wasn't really feeling better even when they were taking care of me – they took me to the doctor. The doctor told me that I'm… I'm HIV positive. They never stopped treating me like a human. They didn't throw me out of their apartment. The only thing they did was learn how exactly they could and couldn't get infected by me. They never stopped touching me like most of people do when they learn that I'm sick… They even bought me medications…"_**

"**_At first, we didn't have even the slightest idea that they wanted to open their own Asylum," _says Rachel Berry, well known diva and former student of McKinley High. _"They were quiet about the whole thing. They planned to do it on their own with their own money… But the thing is – they really didn't have money at the beginning. They were just two students living in an apartment which Blaine's mother was paying for because she didn't wanted to see her son living in some obscure flat. But they wanted to open the 'Klaine Hunderson Asylum' on their own. So they started to work on weekends. Kurt was planning events like weddings, birthdays and other occasions, Blaine was performing at each of them. That's how we learned what they were doing. Kurt planned a party after one of my Broadway recitals. My agent hired him… we hadn't known that he was hired for me. That was a big surprise when I saw Blaine and Kurt entering the stage to sing a duet," _laughs Miss Berry.**

"_**We still remember," **_** Mercedes Jones – former student of McKinley High and best friend of Kurt Hummel - tells us. **_**"That's why we are protesting… But also we have another idea.**_"

"_**From today**_ _**in**_** [selected] **_**music stores everyone can buy Blaine's first solo album. He never finished recording it… But most of the songs he recorded by himself or with Kurt. We decided that we must show the world how talented our friend was. How a big label was waiting for him before he was killed. He would be a star. I'm sure of it" **_** says Flint Wilson - former student of Dalton Academy.**

"_**That's why we – the Warblers**_** [Dalton Academy's Glee Club], **_**with the help of our friends from New Directions **_**[McKinley High's Glee Club]**_**,**__**recorded the rest of his songs**__.__** There are also songs which he wanted to put in his eventual second or third album.**_ _**He never got a chance…" **_**explains Trent Nixon – another former student of Dalton Academy.**

"**_If someone wants to support our case and help us in making the whole case so loud that there is no way that court will still refuse to open the case again – please, go to the nearest music store and ask for the "Pizza Dressing by Blaine Anderson" album. You can buy it for a symbolic one dollar. Money is not the issue here. Exposure definitely is," _ Says Tina Cohen-Chang – former student of McKinley High. **

**At noon, after many attempts from the security of the court and without seeing any reaction from the crowd – police were called to the scene of the event. Some people decided to back off, but the rest of them still stood in place. Police used a tear gas to dissipate the crowd. The few still resisting were taken into custody.**

"**_That's how the law works! They put us in jail but our friends' murderer is still free! WE DEMAND THE JUSTICE!"_ screamed one of the participants of the protest as he was dragged by the police to the police van. **

**The court will make the decision if the charges will be drawn against participants of the event tomorrow.**


	10. GOOD MORNING, STARSHINE

_Kurt_

_The first thing I noticed when I woke up was something warm lying near me. I thought at first that was my mom or dad… But then I realized that was not just regular warmth. It was the strange type of warmth which I feel every time whenever HE touches me. Wait… is HE lying with me in the bed? HE has never done that before ! I open my eyes slowly… and there HE is, smiling at me softly. And before I can say anything, HE just opens his mouth and starts to sing._

"If you were falling, then I would catch you.  
>You need a light, I'd find a match.<span>

'Cause I love the way you say good morning.  
>And you take me the way I am."<p>

_And_ _then it's happening again. I'm not seeing HIM lying with me in the bed. I see him standing in the room that I saw the last time, when I had my 'vision'. I see him standing with a guitar and playing it… Wait… IS HE? Oh my god! He is COMPLETELY naked! He is 'wearing' only the guitar! He is like… some sort of GOD. The most beautiful thing I ever saw in my life. I feel myself blushing slightly._

"If you are chilly, here take my sweater.  
>Your head is aching, I'll make it better.<span>

Cause I love the way you call me baby.  
>And you take me the way I am.<p>

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair."

_He is smiling at me with the charm of a little boy._

"Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cause I love you more than I could ever promise."

_I feel tears start falling from my eyes. It's so romantic!_

"And you take me the way I am.  
>You take me the way I am.<br>You take me the way I am"

_He is putting the guitar aside, kneeling on one knee and looking deep into my eyes. _

"**Kurt. You changed my life. From the day I met you I knew that I wanted to be part of your life. You made me happy in ways that no one else could. You made me love myself, really love myself. You showed me that I don't have to be strong and composed all the time, that I can loosen up a little. I love Wes and David and the other Warblers, but I never felt so happy before in my life. And that's just because you smiled at me. I know that I was an idiot and an asshole and I nearly broke your heart, first with Jeremiah, than with Rachel… But from the day when I finally realized how much I love you… I wanted to someday do the thing I'm doing right now." **_I see him reaching behind him and when I see his hand again, he is holding a bouquet of roses. But one of the roses looks quite unusual… Is it? Yes! It's a box looking like a rose! _**"I know that I'm dorky and I can say stupid things when I'm angry and I can get angry very quickly. I know that most of the time I'm just this goofball who is climbing the furniture. And you know that I'm not really good with words when I want to speak about my feelings, so I'll let the song speak instead of me. Because, as the song said… I know that you don't mind that I'm the way I am, because you just 'take me the way I am'. And I love everything about you, even the smallest things, like 'the way you call me baby' or 'the way you say good morning'. And I want to be with you 'till your hair starts falling out, and you'll be old but for me – still beautiful. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Kurt. That's why I'm asking…" **_He is opening the rose-shaped box. There is a ring inside it. A delicate, silver ring with a small shining diamond on the top of it. _**"Will you marry me?"**

_And then it's HIM again. Lying near me in my own bedroom. HE is smiling at me and stroking my hair gently._

"Good morning, starshine,"___HE says. And you know what? I think I can learn to like these 'visions'. I'd do anything to make HIM smile like THAT…_

_##########################################################################_

_Blaine_

_Sometimes I know that I still exist. I don't know who I am or where I am, I just know that I AM; that I have a body and that I'm alive and that I have mother who spends almost every second of her life with me. I have darkness around me and these horrible nightmares or other visions. Every one of them is the most horrible thing I could imagine._

_Sometimes I feel that I'm falling. Deeper and deeper every day. And I know that one day I will cease to exist. That I'll fall so deep that there will be no chance for me to have a connection with my body, there will be no chance for me to live any more. _

_But right now – I'm still here. I still exist in darkness. Sometimes there are only dreams about three people without faces. The fear, the anger, the hate, the sadness… Each of them overwhelming. Almost too much to take._

_But they are not he worst of them. The worst of them are those when I see an angel. I don't know why watching him gives me so much pain, why looking at him makes me wish that I would never ever again have the knowledge that I exist. Because having this knowledge means the opportunity to see HIM. _

_He has pale skin, beautiful green-gray-blue eyes which seem to change their color, a lean figure and chestnut hair. Everything about him is beautiful. The way he moves, the way he laughs, the way he speaks. Why does watching this supernatural creature give me so much pain? Why does watching him make me feel like the feeling of being torn apart is nothing compared to this?_

_This time is no different than the others; suddenly he appears in my darkness. Suddenly I see him lying on some bed. Just like that… a moment ago – there was nothing. And now…_

"**Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" **_I __**hear **__him squeaking. _

"**PLEASE, TELL ME THIS IS NOT A DREAM! Am I dreaming?" **_He pinches himself on the arm. _

"**I'M NOT! Blaine! This is the most cliché thing you ever done, you know that, right?" **_He is looking directly at someone whom I can't see and he has this LOOK on his face, this 'I screwed up again' look._

"**NO, NO, NO! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT ANDERSON!" **_He is answering a question which I can't hear. It's always the same. I know that he is having a conversation right now, he is having some kind of conversation almost every time… but for me – it's always only him. _

"**It's just…" **_He starts crying_

"**It's just I'm so happy right now and I feel so guilty…" **_He is listening to the other person again. And after a moment I see that he is FROWNING._

"**OH… MY… GOD! How could you ever think that ! ? Of course I'm not bored with you! And of course I certainly did NOT cheat on you!" **_His features are softening._

"**I feel guilty because because of ME we nearly didn't have the chance to be in the place where we are now… I was so stupid! Breaking up with you in high school!" **_He is lifting himself to a sitting position and hiding face in his hands. I notice that he is naked. His skin seems to glitter in the morning light. And then after a moment I see that he is changing his position and then staying in some position which seems to be impossible… It seems to be impossible when you see only the person who is hugged and is crying on someone's shoulder without the person who is hugging. _

"**I still can't forgive myself, breaking your heart like that… I remember that when we started dating – people were afraid that you would break my heart. Well, not all people, because it turns out that only Wes and David know you so well that they were sure that you were so madly in love that you would never EVER even THINK about hurting me. And it turns out that it was ME. It was me, the person who said all these things like 'I'm never saying goodbye to you' or 'They can't touch us or what we have'. It was me who came to you one day and told you 'I don't love you anymore but let's still be friends'… I WAS SO STUPID! Of course I still loved you! Because I still love you and I love you so much that there is NO WAY that it's even possible that I stopped loving you even for a few days. But it was… different. You know that you were my first… everything. My first real kiss, my first love, my first boyfriend… my first sex partner. And I know that it's a lame excuse, because I know that I was yours first EVERYTHING too… But I'm different than you. I always was and always will be. For me life, love and everything is big lights, big letters, big emotions, glitter and fireworks. And it was like that with you, before we started dating, because you were like my… idol. My best friend who was like god for me, like some sort of obsession. Then when we started dating – it was you again, and lust and the need to feel you, EVERY part of you. Of your ego, your soul, your body. But then, after few months of dating… after our first time… It was over. There wasn't glitter and fireworks anymore, there was this strange feeling of… comfort, stability, this whole 'I'll never leave you' thing and it was SCARING ME. It was scaring me because I was never fascinated with anything so long that I wanted it last forever. Like fashion was changing – every season I was changing. And then it was you and the thought of watching the same face the same eyes the same lips over and over and over again. I was scared that I was to get BORED with you. I felt that our affection burned out with our passion. I was so stupid! How I could mistake the feeling of love growing to another level, the level where we are now, a level of stability and a level where 'I'll never leave you, I'll love you forever' aren't just cliché words - with a feeling of love burning out?"**

_I can see that someone is laying him down and that the blanket which had been covering the lower parts of his body is lying on the floor now, revealing completely his lean, pale, perfect body. I see that he is shivering and shifting, like someone was kissing his chest. In his red-rimmed eyes I can see passion and lust and love. He is biting his lower lip and struggling to not to release a moan. After a moment I see his legs getting wider and the moan is finally escaping his lips._

"**So sex is your method of making me stop whining? You don't want to know the answer to your 'will you marry me?'?"**

_His legs are lifting to his chest, his eyes are closing and his head is burying deeper in the pillow. His hands are lifting and his fingers are closing on something._

"**Yes! Yes I will marry you Blaine! OH YES! RIGHT THERE!" **_He is moaning uncontrollably. _**"I love you so much!"**

_It lasts some time. Some time while I watch him breathing heavily and moaning and screaming 'I love yous' and making some non-articulate noises. Some time while I watch him squeezing something stronger and stronger, making his knuckles turn white. His eyes are getting wide and I can see passion burning in them. His lips are parting and this tongue is visibly licking something outside his mouth. And then after all this time it's just a loud scream of _**"BLAINE!" **_ and it's over. He is breathing deeply, his eyes are foggy with sleepiness and I see him shifting to his left side and putting his head and hand on something invisible to me. _

"**That was the best sex in my life… It has so much meaning right now! It it always had some meaning, because for us sex was always about magic and feelings and making love… But now?" **_He is shifting to his right side and reaching for something. When he lays himself back in the position in which he was in a moment before I can see that something is sparkling on his finger. _

"**We are engaged now, Blaine. ENGAGED. You know what that means? It means that one day WE WILL MARRY. One day people will see us, our double-barreled surname's and will know that what we have is REAL, STABLE, and even LEGAL." **_He is lifting his head and moving his mouth and tongue again. _

"**There really isn't anything that can separate us, isn't there ?" **_He is smiling delicately and putting his head down._

"**And about your proposal … It was cliché… but wonderful. And that song fits you. It's simple, direct, lovely and beautiful. Just like you" **_ His smile is even stronger._

"**And if you like 'the way you say good morning' so much…" **_he is kissing some spot near his hand and lifting himself a little, looking at something below him._

"Good morning starshine  
>The earth says hello<br>You twinkle above us  
>We twinkle below<span>

Good morning starshine  
>You lead us along<br>My love and me as we sing  
>Our early morning singing song<span>

Gliddy gloop gloopy  
>Nibby nobby nooby<br>La la la lo lo  
>Sabba sibby sabba<br>Nooby abba dabba  
>Le le lo lo<br>dooby ooby walla  
>dooby abba dabba<br>Early morning singing song

Good mornin' starshine  
>There's love in your skies<br>reflecting the sunlight  
>in my lovers eyes<p>

Good morning starshine  
>so happy to be<br>My love and me, as we sing  
>Our early morning singing song<p>

Gliddy gloop gloopy  
>Nibby nobby nooby<br>La la la lo lo  
>Sabba sibby sabba<br>Nooby abba dabba  
>Le le lo lo<br>dooby ooby walla  
>dooby abba dabba<br>Early morning singing song"

_I hear him singing. I am sure now. He IS an ANGEL… So why does he make me feel like I'm burning in hell?_

###########################################################################

**1) The songs used in this chapter are "The way I am" by Ingrid Michaelson and "Good morning, starshine" from the movie "Hair". I don't own either of them… And if you don't know this first one – seriously, you must check it NOW. One of the sweetest songs I ever heard… It's so simple and beautiful in the same time [and beside… if you watched last year's video where Glee guys were talking about Valentines and Love Songs… you would know it's Darren's favorite love song :). You have a good taste Darren, really good ;)]**

**2) The box I was talking about – you know, the ring one? Basically I had something like that in mind - with ring? Use your imagination ;) Seriously – had no particular ring in mind… just knew that I want it to be silver and delicate. Maybe it isn't manly enough for a guy… but well – it's not like Kurt is wearing sometimes a woman's clothes 'cause "fashion has no gender" right? ;)**


End file.
